Our Most Flammable Issue

November 15, 2012

Dinesh D’Sandy

It would perhaps be a platitude to say that children are much too influenced by their parents’ political views. I feel the statement to be true on a personal level, in that nearly all my peers throughout high school tended … Read More

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Alcohol Is My Best Friend

My venti Salted Caramel Mocha Espresso was getting cold in my hand, and didn’t taste the same as it usually did at 8:45am Monday through Friday. Maybe that was because Michelle and Tricia don’t work weekends. So I slowly sipped … Read More

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Telescoping Memories

To halve and to hold.

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Tame

I want

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Welcome to the Monkeysphere

Cracked.com, pop psychology, and a damn good horror novel.

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A Defense of the Female Nerd

Let’s be honest. I’ve never been cool.

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Call Me Yesterday

I come to bury Carly Rae Jepsen, not to praise her.

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The Date From Hell

Qdoba, baseball, and modern romance.

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Urinalysis

I peed before I ever spoke.

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The Listserve

Last spring, in a desperate act of procrastination during the most stressful peak of finals week, I did something most people instantly regret, something that everyone warns you to avoid, something that after nearly a year of matriculation at this … Read More

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Brief Interview with Hideous Man

Two years ago, I met AH, the prolific Daily Princetonian troll.

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Our Trash, Rehashed

Princetoween 2012: a material documentation.

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Confessions VI

Telescoped.

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Slice of Life

Brissed and dismissed.

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Princeton FML and Race

A survey on a survey.

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New Slang

Transatlantic translations.

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The League of Shadows

Types of ivy.

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Bubble Shtupping

Why Princeton’s so hung up on hook-ups

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Sun-Dance

Pee-poem.

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Verbatim

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Overheard in HIS 448

Professor Anthony Grafton: Devils were considered astral bodies with vocal cords who would become women, receive male semen, corrupt it diabolically, become men, and then inseminate women.

Overheard on Saturday night

Wasted Zete Sophomore: It's like who are you gonna kiss and who are you gonna love?

Overheard on Ivy list

Perceptive senior, reading party invitation: Is it logically possible for a party to be both “the largest” and “most exclusive”?

Overheard outside Viv

Junior pi phi, wistfully: I wanna eat today...

Overheard at Human Values Forum

Student: But professor, according to your theor--
P. Adams Sitney: It’s not a theory! It’s random bullshit said with intensity!

Overheard in Wilcox

Asian girl, matter-of-factly: I am actually a lot prettier when I am skinny.

Overheard in Ivy bathroom

Drunk man, singing to the tune of Katy Perry: In another life I would be a Jew

Overheard at Terrace

Band member: Let’s party with geniuses! You guys are sexy geniuses.

Overheard in Marquand

Student 1: Do you like Frank Gehry? The architect?
Student 2: Yeah, he’s great.
Student 3: Yeah, the architecture of Lewis Library reminds me of him.

Overheard in HUM/EAS 233

Professor, ostensibly trying to make a joke: The Third Princess is standing on the veranda as no proper woman should, because she is concerned about a cat out there. Kashiwagi sees that little pussy and is very interested. [pause followed by silence]

Overheard at Ivy

Sophomore girl: this is going to sound really stupid, but how do you spell “Terrace”?