Oh so… fresh?

March 1, 2007

Elegy for St. Britney Shorn

Maidens yet unyoked shall shear their hair for you when they wed, and through ages long shall reap the great morning of your tears.” – Euripides Who would not sing for Britney? She knew herself to sing! If not to … Read More

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This Just in From Paris

Paris: city of romance, city of wine, cheese and…belligerent drunks? Gropers on the subway? Public urination? Though it is called the City of Lights, Paris, as I have come to know it, actually has a dark and seedy underbelly. Having … Read More

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A Portrait of the Terrorist as a Young Man

Many works of art have emerged in the aftermath of the 9/11 attacks as part of the collective struggle to commemorate, understand, and situate them within the rapidly coalescing frieze of our shared memory. Thanks to the plethora of novels sprung up in the ashes of disaster, we are now privy to such worthwhile phenomena of universal human interest as the tone-poetic hi-jinks of the chattering classes in the months preceding the big event, as in Claire Messud’s respectable novel The Emperor’s Children, and the annoyingly precious musings of the insufferably earnest, as in Jonathan Safran Foer’s not-so-respectable novella Extremely Loud and Incredible Close.

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Non-Religious Discussion?

When a movement exclusive in membership, religious in orientation, and all comprehensive in its ideological scope attempts to gain the sanction of a secular university community committed to diversity and inclusion, it obviously puts itself into a paradoxical situation. This was the situation the founders of Princeton’s Anscombe Society, a group “dedicated to affirming the importance of the family, marriage, and a proper understanding for the role of sex and sexuality” (their website) faced when they decided to apply in February 2005 for official University recognition as a campus group.

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Read This (Or Else)

Dearest Nass readers, I feel your pain. You, former bandies, who sit there with your thick glasses, Rubik’s Cube, and encyclopedic knowledge of Civil War battles. Even if you forced your nerdy self into hiding when you arrived at Princeton and are pretending you’ve always been cool, I know your past.

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Strange, Delirious Princetonians

The Winter 2006 issue of the Nassau Literary Review has been out since January, meaning that if you haven’t read it by now, you’ll need to pull some strings to even get a copy. And yet you should. Think of it as a wise investment: ask the editors for a copy now, and win the lottery later.

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Dreams from my Father

Senator Joe Biden wasn’t the first to peg Barak Obama as counter to a stereotype. Indeed, before Obama became a U.S. Senator, before he became a presidential candidate for that matter, he was generally known as an “articulate,” “well-spoken” black … Read More

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Love in the Time of Possession

They call it bumper car diplomacy in international relations–the idea of decisions made not because of an over-arching grand plan, but due to political exigency, the needs of the moment. These days it could seem our lives are practices in … Read More

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Fleshed Out

Warm Up Drawing – ten minutes “Ten minutes on the egg-timer…and…go!” I barked softly. The carpeted block staged the model’s gangly flesh, her nakedness roosting on fuzzy gray institutional carpeting. Her back was slightly arched, and her breasts quivered over … Read More

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Verbatim

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Overheard on AIM

Girl 1: My mom left me a message asking me about my spring break plans, and she said to call her back, and then told me what the home phone number was.
Girl 2: Hahaha, that is so depressing.

Overheard in the Wa

Woman: What's the difference between Coke Zero and Diet Coke?
Student: Coke Zero only has one calorie.

Overheard at Terrace

Guy: No you don't understand. My best friends are people I've slept with.
Girl: I'm not sleeping with you.

Overheard in Frist

Girl: So then in the morning you use the advanced people search and look the person's name up by room number.
Guy: Does anyone actually do that? I mean, it's more likely that you'll remember the name than the room. Oh wait, that happened to me the other night.

Overheard in Lockhart

Girl 1: Do they have rehab for unrequited love?
Girl 2: I think it's called therapy.

Overheard in Forbes

Sorority Girl 1: How much would you have to be paid to drink horse cum?
Frat Dude: A lot. $10,000?
Sorority Girl 2: Less than that!
Sorority Girl 1: Yeah, I mean, I drink human cum all the time for free!