Larval Monarch
November 8, 2012
Verbatim
More →Overheard at College Republicans meeting
College Republican: I’ve never actually seen MSNBC.
Overheard in ECO lecture
Professor: Why do people buy gold? It’s not because you want to enamel your dining room with gold.
Pi Phi Junior: You don’t know my friends.
Overheard in Ivy
Plebe 1: Are you royalty?
Plebe 2: Like landed gentry?
Archduchess, to plebes: No, no, no—landed gentry? Pshhh ...
Overheard in RoMa dining hall
Girl, to other girl, about attractive boy: He looks like the protagonist of a young-adult novel.
Overheard in Mathey College Office
Receptionist, on phone: Your password is ‘kiddies.”
Overheard in RoMa dining hall
Contemplative sophomore: Blowjobs would be so much better with butter.
Overheard in the gutter
Nass junior: If you have to purse your lips to give a blowjob it’s not a big dick.
Overheard on the Street
Girl, referring to debate: Obama killed it last night.
Friend: Really? I heard Romney was good.
Girl: No, definitely Obama. Look at the New York Times, every article says he won.
Overhead near bitchass
Pre-med bitchass: You other people don’t understand how pre-meds’ minds work. I have to be studying every second.
Overheard in Whitman
Sophomore girl #1: What if you could get pregnant from making out?
Sophomore girl #2: Oh my gosh I’d be soooo pregnant right now
Overheard in room
Guy that Nass writer’s roommate brought back: Babe, it’s fine. Your roommate’s totally asleep.
Nass writer: (awake, with the lights on)
Overheard at the Hamptons
Pi Phi Junior: I like when I see ugly Thetas at the airport.
Overheard in Frist
Jilted junior, on phone: I don’t get it. Given my pedigree and background, I should have been admitted into the club!
Overheard at Nass meeting
Editor-in-chief, seeking photography staff: Who takes photos not on their iPhone?
Freshman: I do.
Business Manager: ... do you use your Android?
Overheard in WuCox servery
Girl looking at garlic knots: Oohhh, I love these!
Dining hall worker: No you don’t. It’s psychological.