Issue Before Thanksgiving

November 18, 2004


More →

Overheard at Tower

Preppy liberal: All three people I know at Harvard totally suck. Except for this one guy I know from Ivy Council.

Overheard outside of Little Hall

Random Drunk Girl: If you cum on my futon, I’ll fucking kill you! Do you hear me? I’m talking to YOU! If you CUM on my FUTON, I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!
Joe Cermatori: Um... I don’t think I’ll be cumming on your futon any time soon.
(awkward pause)
Girl: What are you trying to say? Are you trying to say I’m ugly?
Joe Cermatori: Ummm... no....
Girl: Are you calling me UGLY?!
Joe Cermatori: No that’s not what I meant.
Girl: Listen, I don’t call you “The Rapist” to your face, do I?
Joe Cermatori: I mean, I’ve never met you in my life.
Girl: Yeah. That’s what I thought. Ya whore.

Overheard in junior seminar

Professor: Step into my snowglobe of sectarian seductiveness.
Student: What?!
Professor: Come inside my diorama of sectarian seductiveness.

Overheard just inside Terrace

Bouncer: No.
Guy 1: But I'm not a prefrosh! I'm a Tigertone!