End of an Era

October 24, 2015


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Overhead in the Whig basement

Cap junior: When I graduate from Princeton, the GroupMe is gonna be my biggest accomplishment.

Overheard in Edwards

Female scholar: I just need someone to massage my boobs, ya know?

Overheard outside Frist

Freshman psychoanalyst: I think he tries to hide his emotions by expressly showing them. You know what I mean?
Friend, befuddled: Umm, no.

Overheard in the Terrace library

Young man: I could graduate from Harvard taking zero classes. Zero classes.

Overheard at WaWa

Confused young man: Some people think saying America is great is offensive. I say look at the moon. Brazil, is that your bitch ass country’s flag up there? I don’t think so.

Overheard at Ivy

Alum, to another alum: You’re not even the creepiest alum here!

Overheard in Frist

Pi Phi pledge, gripping $8 juice bottle: Make me well Tico’s, make me well.

Overheard outside Marquand

Little boy to other little boy, eating lunch: I wish penne pasta was called penis.

Overheard in Terrace

Wise junior: There’s no faster way to lose weight than give birth.

Overheard in Firestone

Male Religion grad student: Mansplaining always works.

Overheard in Terrace

Jewish journalist: That’s why the Prince is bad, there are no Jews in it. Gentiles all!

Overheard in Wu dining hall

Grad student, to exhibitionist grad student: What if you’re performing acts and you run into a student?
Exhibitionist grad student: Oh, it’s happened already.

Overheard near Frist

Junior aesthete, on cello music: I used to listen to this in my room and cry.

Overheard in the West Village

Man, sniffing his beer: Mmm, smells like my dad.

Overheard at Terrace

Junior girl: I feel like having a trust fund could be stressful.
WASP male: Oh, it definitely is not.

Overheard in line at the UStore

Boy: Hey.
Girl: Hi.
Boy: Didn’t we make out at Ivy on Saturday?
Girl: Yup.
Boy: Cool. See you around!

Overheard at Ivy initations

Ivy male 1: Staff chug?
Ivy male 2: No dude, they’re supposed to be cleaning up, I don’t want them drinking.

Overheard on Prospect Street

Junior Pi Phi: Have you ever drank so much red wine that you shit it out in pure form the next morning? Because I have.