“There’s this rich guy, he wants to be famous”
Years ago an American army captain ordered a million copies of a short novel, something to help keep the troops’ spirits up in Europe. Many credit the mass production of this book, _The Great Gatsby_, as the reason why F. Scott Fitzgerald, who had died in obscurity in 1940, rose to worldwide fame, and Gatsby […]
State of Our Union
My lovely girlfriend. Our constitution declares that from time to time, a boyfriend shall give his partner information about the state of the union, and where he stands in the relationship. For 220 years, boyfriends have fulfilled this duty. We’ve done so during periods of prosperity and tranquility, and we’ve done so in the midst […]
Children’s Literature
Once upon a time in a little college town, there lived a boy named Mephen who loved to learn. He loved his grammar and his sciences and his maths and all he wanted was to devour as many books on these topics and take as many classes on the subjects as he could. One day, […]
Still Stumped?
Dear Smart Sally, What should I get my boyfriend for Valentine’s Day? Signed, Clueless in Cuyler Dear Clueless, Men only want one thing from us: hand-knit socks. So, grab your knitting needles and a big ball of wool and get cracking. Good luck! Smart Sally Dear Smart Sally, Lately, my girlfriend has been acting like […]
A Better Course Guide
AAS 315 / CHV 424 / MUS 343 “We are not the same I am a Martian”: Afro-futurism since 1950 from Sun Ra to Young Money AAS 444 / EAS 360 Cross-Cultural Dialogues: Rush Hour through Rush Hour 3 AMS 340 The Fast Food Bowel Movement ARC 203 / MOD 203 Architecture of the Self: […]
Long Lines at Treadmills Cause Frustration Among Students
Frequenters of Dillon Gymnasium aiming to get in a quick run on the treadmills before class or after class have recently been greeted with an unpleasant surprise: long lines. Although usually there are not long lines for the 14 treadmills in Dillon, the gym has become so popular that wait times for the treadmills have […]
Snow Finds Its Way to Princeton
There’s no denying it: snow has found its way to Princeton. Snow is on the ground both on north and south campus, and it’s been spotted on east campus. When questioned about the snow’s whereabouts, Small World employee Mary Climber answered, “I’m pretty sure it’s snowed everywhere in the town of Princeton.” Meteorologists have also […]
“There’s this rich guy, he wants to be famous”
Close your eyes. Are they closed? No, good point, I guess you’ll need to keep them open to read the Powerpoint. Okay, close them when you can, and otherwise close your inner eye, or eyes. The number of inner eyes may depend on the species of your spirit animal—mine, for instance, is the spider (or, […]
Where is the Clit?
Dear Sexpert, If someone rims my ass am I still a virgin? – Carnally Concerned Dear Carnally Concerned, Not in the eyes of Jesus, you aren’t. Dear Sexpert, My vibrator got lost in my birth canal when I was double clicking the mouse. It’s been three days and I still haven’t found it. I’ve gotten […]
Halfway to the Sky
Last Thursday, New York Times op-ed columnist Nicholas D. Kristof and his wife Sheryl WuDunn spoke at Princeton about their book Half The Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide, the psychology of reporting human rights, and why it’s important to travel. Before they started their presentation, Nick mentioned that the last time they […]
Letter From the Editors 2/11
Dear Readers, We’re proud of this issue and it’s all for you—our lovely, even-keeled readers—and so we hope you like it too. Please feel free to browse at your leisure, or, if you’re not in the mood to do that, feel free to read every article thoroughly in order to send us a list of […]
The Movies, Today!
__REPO MEN__
Repo Men is about a guy who does a thing with a partner in a dystopian future who fucks up that thing and then has to fight against his partner and, indeed, the whole of society, for the sake of truth. You might remember this movie as _District 9_, _Equilibrium_, the video game _Haze_, _Avatar_, _Minority Report_, _Fahrenheit 451_, _Logan’s Run_ and _The Giver_.