A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Nass Meeting

November 16, 2006

The FAO-ntain of Youth

Yes – I am one of those annoying North New Jerseyans who pretends they know the City. Just accept it. Like any other wannabe New Yorker, I jumped at the chance to show my suitemates around the Big Apple. Our … Read More

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I slept with Bob Dylan and Sid Vicious

Holden Caufield can wonder about the ducks all he wants. I wonder about where bohemia went—my bohemians went and why I can’t find them and how they survive on these streets in the winter—, and so I imagine my own … Read More

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Thirteen Ways of Looking at an Election

I love Woody Woo students. Their affability. Their political charm. Their electoral obsession. But I know I’m not – nor ever will be – one of them. I’m a prideful English major, content with my metrics, and my ever-mounting stacks of books. There are overlaps, assuredly, between the literary and the political approaches to life – human psychology and pompous writers come to mind – but sometimes, the gulf is felt. And a lot.

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The Ethics of Poetry

It’s the images of a frying egg which haunt me, I think, and make my responses to his question habitual. “No,” I respond again. This is probably the fifth time he’s asked me to get high with him. Something about … Read More

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A Good Movie For You To See

By far the best film of 2005 was Werner Herzog’s mind-altering Grizzly Man. Those who disagree should go out and rent it again. Good, huh? I know. I liked it too.

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Perspectives on the Midterms

On CNN, I think, the election night coverage was titled ‘America Votes.’ I was watching and a friend next to me said, “No, it doesn’t.” At face value, the descriptive statement ‘America Votes’ is false. America really doesn’t vote, at … Read More

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Perspectives on the Midterms

I’ve made a vow not to subject students to my highly educated and refined political world view, aka my rantings and ravings about the contemporary political situation, but I don’t mind admitting that I’m totally obsessed with U.S. electoral detailia … Read More

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Perspectives on the Midterms

My father is a newsman, and during the election season he heads down to D.C. to do reporting. When Rumsfeld resigned, I knew that he would be thrilled. Donald Rumsfeld is one of my father’s least favorite Americans. When I … Read More

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Irish Drama Insurgence

Like the juiciest of farts, the relieving and incredibly human production of The Playboy of the Western World arouses in the depths of your belly that sort of visceral, ancient laughter perhaps only possible and appropriate in Irish villages. It’s … Read More

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Musing about Musing about Life

Towards the end of the summer, I was wasting an evening with one of my friends in Micawber. Note: at the time it didn’t seem that pathetic. Anyways, in between flipping through random books I noticed Chuck Klosterman’s newer book, … Read More

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Verbatim

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Overheard at Cottage

Theta: Itʼs funny. An hour ago, I was totally ready to have sex with him. Now Iʼm definitely not going to get to be in the fivesome.

Overheard in Holder

Girl: Online banking is my new favorite thing to do when drunk.

Overheard at Newark

Continental employee on loudspeaker:
I would like to extend a courtesy beating [pause] boarding to all first class passengers.

Overheard at TI

Guy 1: I hate that woman [Nancy Pelosi].
Guy 2: Assassinate her, man!
Guy 1: Sheʼs a woman, Iʼm sure someoneʼs planning it.

Overheard at Fordham University

Guy 1: She was givinʼ me lip, so I returned the favor by pissing on her face.
Guy 2: For real dog, thatʼs what you gotta do.
Guy 1: I had to go anyways, so it was really two birds and a stone.

Overheard at Princeton-Harvard Game

Guy: See, man? Shit always happens when you party naked.

Oveheard in COS 318

Prof. Pai: Well, if a country isn't a member of the WTO, and they've created their own root, then I suppose it's ok to bomb them.