Frosh, scrolling through phone: "I should major in Instagram reels."
Desperate international students: “Who do you love the most?”
UK/US Passport Holder: “I'll marry ALL of you!”
Guy: “What are you guys going to be for Halloween?”
Girl 1: “I need a prompt, what’s relevant right now?”
Girl 2: “We could be geoexchange whores. Or the ghost of Poe Field?”
Incredulous girl: can you imagine THIS being your cousin, and being SURPRISED she’s a bisexual?
Detractor: What’s the moral imperative for pickling a child?
Disgruntled professor: So, which image do you want to talk about?
Disgruntled professor, after about 10 seconds of uncomfortable silence: Okay, I guess democracy is bad then.
Proponent: Hold on, let me pull out my strategic pickle
Barista-humanist, to other barista-humanists: Dialing in the espresso machine together is the closest I’ll ever get to Los Alamos.
Excited frosh: First one to have sex in FLIB gets 1000 dollars from me.
Exploitative junior: My sister is a freshman here. We have a great deal going. I buy her alcohol and she does my laundry.
Student: Didn’t the Prince publish that really awful article about that kid with the Filipina maid? It was called, like, “Gloria.”
Nass Editor-In-Chief: That was the Nass.
Person wanting trail mix: Let me get in there
Person holding trail mix: You know who gets in here all the time without asking?
Legacy student: Legacy students
Soft-spoken philo-bro: I'm trying to cut back on the caffeine. 300 milligrams a day was feeling risky.
Chatty gay: And how much is in that yerba mate?
Philo-bro: Only 200. It's about the tapering.
Cooked junior: Pre-frosh? You mean high school student. Okay, so I’m a pre-grad student. I’m a pre-father. I’m a pre-dead man.
Guy in Princeton Squash backpack: If there were a zombie apocalypse I'm not sure I'd be able to keep moving
Girl 1: I’ve been buying so many clothes on my mom’s credit card
Girl 2: Doesn’t she mind?
Girl 1: It’s okay, I buy smaller things in-between so she doesn’t notice the big purchases when she looks at the statement.