Overheard in Firestone, discussing post-grad plans

Senior girl #1: "Yeah, I don't want to live out of my parents' basement."
Senior girl #2: "Your parents made you live in the basement!?"

Overheard at Two Articles

Drunk Crew Freshman: "Oh my god. I can't wait to bicker Cloister."

Overheard in Marquand

Former design editor of the Nass to former EIC: “I was in love with him pedagogically.”

Overheard in the solarium

Tankie Terrace Bros:
"I get nihilistic when I'm sleepy"
"Really, dude, I get totalitarian”

Overheard in Whitman Common

Girl looking at the time on two iPhones: Wow, they both say 9:30.

Overheard Outside of Tower

Tired bickerer: The amount of times I heard the word “vibes” at Cap bicker is way too high

Overheard on Nassau

“I’ve never met a coke-head who weighs over 130 pounds.”
“Clearly you’ve never been to Cannon.”

Overheard on Dean’s Date Eve

Leftist Mathey RCA, eating French toast: Everyone needs to be triggered sometimes.

Overheard at Mathey Dining Hall

Frosh: I'm not a trust fund kid! I'm a hedge fund kid! There's a difference!

Overheard at a pregame

One jewish female to another: you do look jewish, but you pull it off

Overheard at USG Little Women

Laurie, to Jo: Can we still be friends?
Emotionally ruined Princeton student: Bitch, as if!

Overheard on Nassau St:

Joshua Judd Porter: I’m world weary. I’m Leonard Cohen.

Overheard on iMessage

Boyfriend, to girlfriend: What if we had a foursome and ended up just having gay sex side by side?

Overheard on the Street

Aspiring sex addict: "It would be hard to be an ugly sex addict. Do you think I'm attractive enough to be a sex addict?

Overheard in Small World

Italian Professor: Let me tell you a secret: when i was a young professor here in the 1970s I used to have a huggeeee slice of cheesecake at 2am

Overheard in Cuyler

Woke white man: Elizabeth Warren sucks, but I’ll happily vote for her once Bernie Sanders dies.

Enthusiastic HUM Freshman

Leaving lecture hall: "this lecture low key changed my life."

Overheard in a COS class

COS professor while playing Gregorian chants before class: Well, I like it. My wife HATES Gregorian chants.

Overheard in Murray Dodge

I have not heard of the Nassau Weekly. What are verbatims?

Overheard in Forbes

Theater kid: So I went up to my room and put some peppermint essential oil on my nips…

Overheard in Joline Hall kitchen

Classics Major: Ever since Oedipus, I haven't looked at my mom the same.
Friend reevaluating this friendship: I feel like you should continue this conversation…without me.

Overheard in French seminar

Woman professor to woman student: Though I'm usually on your side, we must at least sometimes recognize that men are also human beings.

Overheard in a meeting

Jaded senior, discussing baby yoda: Like, you’re so cute, but you’re a product of a megacorporation.

Overheard at Cap

Gay man voting for Pete Buttigieg: I thought I got into Princeton because my mom was a legacy and I applied as a Classics Major, but I just learned about pretty privilege and it might be because of the symmetry of my face.

Overheard in J Street

Exasperated frosh: You know how to code but not how to split screen your windows?