Girl #1: OMG, you should pull the anxiety card.
Girl #2: Well, of COURSE I already did.
2 y/o girl: I need to kiss him!
4 y/o boy: Get her. Away from me.
2 y/o: *blows kiss*
Girl: it's crazy how there are so many emojis, but none of them are relevant to me.
Sophomore Bumble user: Wait okay fuck I love that Bumble is feminist and all but like I just CAN'T make the first move. Like that's just not the vibe.
Defiant international student: The metric system is just so much more aesthetic.
Junior who had just finished her first class: That essential oil thing she does at the end almost made me orgasm!!
Gay male: What’s the name of that gay acapella group?
Former Tigression: You mean the Nassoons?
Pi Phi junior: I run to one song, and one song only. “Work, bitch,” by Britney Spears.
Girl on phone: Yeah yeah I know he wasn't a good idea… *pause* I can't help it, you know what Patagonia pullovers do to me!
Triple-legacy Southern White Girl: I don't think the athletes deserve to be here.
Wealthy black '18 alumna: I'm definitely a fauxgressive... I want to live in a white neighborhood and bring down their property values.
Girl #1: So what’s your rating?
Girl #2, from LA: On Uber?
Girl describing pick-ups: So I’m sitting there, and my Wheat Thin’s getting sweaty…
Texan dude: He's the most Austin person ever. He's been married to a man for 20 years but he votes Republican.