Overheard by the SPIA fountain

European grad student: We might need an alternative, yes, but if they're not selling crates and barrels at Crate and Barrel I will be VERY disappointed.

You already voted!

Overheard in the Forbes lobby

Freshman: I miss when Brandy Melville was body-negative

You already voted!

Overheard in the Forbes dining hall

Frosh, scrolling through phone: "I should major in Instagram reels."

You already voted!

Overheard in Kwanza yet again

Desperate international students: “Who do you love the most?”

UK/US Passport Holder: “I'll marry ALL of you!”

You already voted!

Overheard in eating club common space

Guy: “What are you guys going to be for Halloween?”

Girl 1: “I need a prompt, what’s relevant right now?”

Girl 2: “We could be geoexchange whores. Or the ghost of Poe Field?”

You already voted!

Overheard late at night in the Murray-Dodge Café

Incredulous girl: can you imagine THIS being your cousin, and being SURPRISED she’s a bisexual?

You already voted!

Overheard while viewing South Tower impact footage

Viewer: 9/11 is my Roman Empire

You already voted!

Overheard while planning a pregame

Pre-med student: I would do homework AT the orgy

You already voted!

Overheard while still arguing about pickles

Detractor: What’s the moral imperative for pickling a child?

You already voted!

Overheard while reflecting on origins

Former baby: Well, when I was a gamete, I was fairly nude

You already voted!

Overheard in seminar

English concentrator: They were stabbed in a very romantic way

You already voted!

Overheard in the co-op

Vegetarian: I feel like eggs are a constitutional issue

You already voted!

Overhead during 7:30pm Lecture

Disgruntled professor: So, which image do you want to talk about?

Disgruntled professor, after about 10 seconds of uncomfortable silence: Okay, I guess democracy is bad then.

You already voted!

Overheard in Roma

Allergy-ridden individual: It's the sound of screaming peanuts

You already voted!

Overheard while arguing about the definition of a pickle

Proponent: Hold on, let me pull out my strategic pickle

You already voted!

Overheard at dinnertime

Dreamer: My favorite meditations are the ones where I'm not conscious

You already voted!

Overheard in the Campus Club Coffee Club

Barista-humanist, to other barista-humanists: Dialing in the espresso machine together is the closest I’ll ever get to Los Alamos.

You already voted!

Overheard in the Forbes Library

Excited frosh: First one to have sex in FLIB gets 1000 dollars from me.

You already voted!

Overheard at Terrace

Trite Terran: I’m going to be the Isaac Newton of Musical Theater!

You already voted!

Overheard during mid-lecture break

Exploitative junior: My sister is a freshman here. We have a great deal going. I buy her alcohol and she does my laundry.

You already voted!

Overheard in Car

Student: Didn’t the Prince publish that really awful article about that kid with the Filipina maid? It was called, like, “Gloria.”

Nass Editor-In-Chief: That was the Nass.

You already voted!

Overheard in Kwanza

Person wanting trail mix: Let me get in there

Person holding trail mix: You know who gets in here all the time without asking?

Legacy student: Legacy students

You already voted!

Overheard by the tables in that long hallway in Dillon

Soft-spoken philo-bro: I'm trying to cut back on the caffeine. 300 milligrams a day was feeling risky.

Chatty gay: And how much is in that yerba mate?

Philo-bro: Only 200. It's about the tapering.

You already voted!

Overheard at the pregame

Cooked junior: Pre-frosh? You mean high school student. Okay, so I’m a pre-grad student. I’m a pre-father. I’m a pre-dead man.

You already voted!

Overheard in Coffee Club

HUM student: To be frank, I kind of don't understand the point of science.

You already voted!