Overheard in Forbes

He’s got really stupid taste in women.
You mean Japs?

Between two University administrators, Nassau Hall

Why did that alumnus give so much money to re-open Cannon Club?
He probably misses the days when he and his friends could pee on each other and gang-rape women.

Professor Katz in CLG 103

When you’re a grad student, basically everyone in the world shits on you while your friends make tons of money trading junk bonds.

Overheard in HUM 206 precept (on Dante’s Inferno)

I don’t get this last Canto. I mean, who is this Judas guy?

Overheard at Campus

We never stop. We’re like plastic-coated rabbits.

Overheard in a WWS301 precept

Let’s suppose that you have a point.

Groundskeeper, on Mardi Gras

Watch out for Hatians. They’ll do some wack voodoo shit on your ass.

Katz, CLA208 (to a student)

I may be a pretentious pig, but you blow me out of the water!

Mystery Professor, CLA208

The moral of the story is, if you’re considering taking courses in the sociology department: don’t. ...Oh boy, if this makes it into Verbatim, I’m screwed.

Overheard in Cottage

Friday? That’s the movie that taught me about black peoples!

Overheard in CLA 214 Precept

Let’s just imagine Tim with a seven-year-old girl. Just imagine!

Overheard IN GER 102

American beer is what, 2% alcohol? It’s like water... oh, but for you, that’s illegal.

Overheard in Terrace

Yo, what if your name was ‘Ruptured Shithole’?

Overheard in Aaron Burr

Did I say pornography? I meant homophobia.

Overheard in Spelman

Maybe I do want to be an academic. Whenever I go into Firestone and see all those books it makes me want to come in my pants.

Overheard outside Mathey dining hall

If I’m going to rush, I better stick to salads.

Overheard in POL 310

Boy: Yeah, Robbie George, the bigot, teaches Con Interp.
Girl: Oh, no, he’s not a bigot. He’s a really strict Catholic.

Overheard about ELE491 Lecturer, Ed Zschau

He can destroy you. He’s like Aaron Spelling.

Professor Cadden in THR 331, On Puritans’ critique of Elizabethan Theater

They just go on and on and ON about the sex - it’s fabulous!

Prof. Cadden, THR 331

Student: isn’t “occurrence” referring to sex?
Cadden: Well, (thumbs up) dirty mind at 9:30 - way to go.

Professor Wolff, ENG345, on Hedda Gabler

In the production I saw, when she committed suicide, the blood splattered on General Gabler’s portrait...I thought that was quite nice.

Prof. Taylor, AAS391

I am African American. I realize I probably look white and Jewish to most of you... There was some fooling around back there in the slave age.

Joyce Carol Oates, CWR 203

You don’t have to have a bad opium trip to write well.

Preceptor Anne Margaret Daniel, ENG345

Naturalism is like realism on drugs.

Professor Wolff, ENG345

We’re not talking about oysters here. We’re talking about syphilis.