Overheard in a newsroom

Neurotic copy editor, on the death of print journalism: Do you hear me in the distance, screaming? Cause I’M DOING IT!!

Overheard at Study Break

Boy, to friends: I think I’m going to need to break it off with this girl. I don’t think I can handle a long-distance relationship.
Friend: Dude, she lives in Forbes.

Overheard on Prospect

Pre-frosh: Yeah, we just went to Tiger Inn but everyone there was asleep.

Overheard on the patio of Ivy

Ivy senior: How would you characterize the spectacle that is TI?
Ivy junior: A concrete hellhole in which beer-soaked children grind on one another

Overheard in SF

Former Ivy member: What do you mean I'm not a champagne socialist? I work for a non-profit!

Overheard in Frist

Upper West Sider: Denying the Holocaust is better than being a moral relativist.

Overheard strolling along prospect avenue

St. B's senior: Someone once described Cannon to me as a glorified Chili's


Overheard on NJ transit

Sad boy: The poetry grind never ends.

Overheard in Terrace

Soph boi: I didn't vine but I revined a lot. *pause* ...It's like retweeting.

Overheard at Nass Open House

Sophomore: I’m a vegetarian but I had six chicken tenders today cause I was hungover.

Overheard in Friend

COS grad student: Just keep drinking coffee and writing code. You'll get through it.

Overheard at CVS

Pre-teen boy: The only people I have a problem with are Donald Trump and my mom.


Overheard in RoMa

Self-assured sophomore: I also have to get drunk tonight so I can justify my juul use

Overheard at beach resort

Nanny: We can't buy this right now. It's too much money
Six-year-old: It's okay. We'll just get Daddy's credit card.

Overheard in Whitman dining hall

Frosh 1, on ancestry.com: I'm interested in my heritage.
Frosh 2: You're white as fuck.

Overheard in a fraternity email

Authors’ sign off: Eating Asian pussy, all we need is sweet and sour sauce.

Overheard in the Friend Center

Sophomore Pi Phi: Do you know what a humble Canada Goose is? A MonCler.

Overheard in the Lewis Center

Socially curious first-year: I don't understand Pi Phi. Is it just a coven of hot girls?

Overheard at Murray Dodge

St. A's Interviewee: People don't think English is hard until I tell them I'm going to law school after.

Overheard on iMessage

Junior Editor to managing editor: I just bcc’ed you
I’ve never done that before
I think I need to take a shower

Overheard at dinner

Upper West Sider to Upper West Sider: Have I ever brought you to the Elvis-themed fast station diner in the West Bank?

Overhead in a dorm room

Dramatic Pi Phi, on the phone a month-long boyfriend in Forbes: It's tough, but could we consider this an LDR?

Overheard outside Bloomberg

Nass managing editor, screaming: WE WILL NOT BURN BRIDGES WITH DAVID REMNICK

Overheard on the Street

Junior TI Theta to other junior TI Theta: You haven’t even had sex? Even weird people have had sex.

Overheard at Ivy

Ivy Gear chair, venomously: I love seeing people in Gucci slides at Ivy