Overheard in Rocky dining hall

Annoyingly healthy sophomore: My body's a temple!
Jaded sophomore: My body's like… a nightclub.

Overheard at TI Breakfast

Ailing senior woman: I got a UTI from sitting my bare vagina in beer all day.

Overheard leaving a Nass meeting

Nass member 1: Wait, are you into communism, too?
Nass member 2: Yeah.

Overheard at Ivy

Nass member: As a man with a sixteen-inch penis, I cannot be confined to boxer briefs.

Overheard on iMessage

Unemployed SWUG: I was supposed to have an IBM interview today but I don't really know what happened to that. I didn't care much—they have an ugly logo.

Overheard outside Murray Dodge

Senior woman discovering her powers, on way to meditation class: I feel like when I put a tampon in before I actually get my period, it summons it, ya know?

Overheard in Pyne

SWUG: I’m so flat that I could have my nips out and people would think they were birthmarks.

Overheard at a pregame

Roommate, commenting on volunteer habits of other roommate: I feel like I'm Christian by osmosis.

Overheard in Frist before a Nass meeting

Plaid-wearing senior: I don't like the furnishings in this room. The feng shui is fucked up.

Overheard in Firestone

A non-senior SWUG: He is on my hot racist guy list.

Overheard in Rocky

Cultural Jew: You've never heard of Meyer Lansky? He's my favorite American Jew!

Overheard at a Nass meeting

Disappointed frosh: I've always been sort of tenuously interested in astrology because I'm a Leo.

Overheard in Aaron Burr Hall

Professor who brought candy for his class: At this point in the semester, an IV of crack is a better idea.

Overheard in Frist

Stressed-out sophomore: I'll be honest, I think I probably have a solid cry about once a month. Usually in the shower. Put on some sad music and just go for it. That way I'm not wasting time. I mean, we all have to shower.


Overheard at Terrace

Club Manager: I'm kind of a Wawa ho. I've been to every Wawa in North Jersey.

Overheard on Facetime

Yale grad student: New Haven has a surprising amount of nature. Like, rocks.

Overheard at a Nass meeting

St. Ann’s alum: My shower shoes are Birkenstocks.

Overheard in RoMa

Student in sophomore slump: These salad bowls give me anxiety.

Overhead on the Street

Quad senior: I think he's very confident about his weight loss from last summer. Then again, that's when he had malaria.

Overheard at Murray Dodge

St. A's Interviewee: People don't think English is hard until I tell them I'm going to law school after.

Overheard at Nass design hours

Angry aspiring Nass designer: Nietzsche's aesthetic is the Nass.

Overheard on study abroad in London

Princeton dropout, pointing at a Fjallraven Kanken backpack: I could wipe my butt with that.


Overheard on Nassau

Drunk townie, to three friends: I, like, never go out. If I do go out it's always with you five bitches.

Overheard in Wright

Nass frosh: I like memes and I like eating ass. Call me the dirty meme kid.

Overheard in LAS 371

Professor: What do you think about the recent news on Puerto Rico?
Cottage junior: I feel like before this I didn't even know where it was on the map. I just had, like, no consciousness of it.
Professor: …Where did you think it was?
Cottage junior: Idk in like the Pacific or something.