Overheard in precept

"Cool Kid" preceptor: They see everyone else doing binge drinking… wait. "Doing binge drinking." I promise I'm a cool kid!

Overheard in Cuyler

Press Club Co-President: I don't think I ever really learned how to write an essay.

Overhead at Terrace

Overachieving sophomore: Academic Masochism. . . that's my kink.

Overheard in Terrace

Manic pixie dream girl: Everyone knew the code so it was basically unlocked. The code was 42069.

Overheard at a Nass meeting

Former Nass EIC: Every white girl loves Lil Dicky!!

Overheard at Ivy

Overachieving boarding school frosh: Cocaine is just so good for my GPA.

Overheard in Terrace

Small-town soph, reminiscing: That’s really all you need -- a good, sexist high school boyfriend.

Overheard in Rocky

Franzia-drunk Ivy soph: And I was like, “This is a smoothie from the Wa -- where’s the Tico’s??”

Overheard on campus

Ivy Junior, seemingly deep in the JP grind: Wow, look at this halved cabbage!

Overheard in 185 Nassau:

VIS professor: Think: professionally lit rave.

Overheard on Poe Field

Ivy soon, screaming: CAPITALISM IS WAY MORE FUN

Overheard at Ivy

Reformed prepster: In high school, I had a playlist called vineyard crimes.

Overheard on Nassau

Junior Terran: The only time I ever snorted Adderall, I hung out with neo-Nazis. They were surprisingly so normal.

Overheard at Ivy dinner

Australian soph: Más Flow just makes me think of my period.


Overheard in Ivy

Ivy soph, after learning he was younger than the frosh with whom he was speaking: Well I’m a member here so…

Overheard on business major’s computer

YouTube search bar: how to treat people

Overhead in Forbes

Sleep-deprived frosh, at 3 a.m.: I'm so pale because of the weather that I'm actually beginning to experience white privilege.


Overheard in Rocky

STN-less soph: I'm really into pie charts these days... like, emotional pie charts.

Overheard in GroupMe

Soph woman: Come to TI to watch straight men shake their hips like they haven't told a lie in their lives.

Overheard in a JRN class

Nass editor: I have really good musk.

Overheard at TI

Jewish man: I’m flexing to stay warm.

Overheard in Cuyler

Press Club co-president: I don't think I ever really learned how to write an essay.

Overheard in Terrace

Small-town soph: Flavored condoms are like … the worst.

Overheard in Whitman

Homesick New England soph: If Tom Brady retires before I graduate I'm dropping out.

Overheard before walk of shame

Fuckboy # 324: If there is anything I can do to make your stays more pleasant, please do let me know.