PSafe officer to religious protestors: Yeah… we're actually more worried about these kids coming after you guys.
Supreme Court justice, on being famous in public: I have to be careful at the beach now.
Person 1: Music is just marketing.
Person 2: Could you elaborate?
Person 1: Not really, no.
Former Pi Phi: The only things on my list of things I hate are tunics and tattoos of people's faces. The only things I love are unconventional couples that actually work really well together.
White privilege Cap icon after parents weekend: Fuck, I forgot to ask my parents for cash to pay for my weed.
Catholic boi, probably: Hey Alexa, wake me up at 8 a.m. with “Smash Mouth” by All Star.
Sophomore on the come-up: I'm lowkey always the alpha. I'm a Great White, bitch.
Junior who is OVER IT: It's not a Terrace shirt. Some of us just wear tie dye.
Frosh 1, on ancestry.com: I'm interested in my heritage.
Frosh 2: You're white as fuck.
Sophomore: I don't buy the trinity thing. Jesus ain't God.
Friend: Can I interest you in Islam?
Stressed soph: I'm gonna make some spreadsheets so I feel less overwhelmed.
Grandmother: I’m really into reading the obituary section. . . There isn’t much else in the Miami Herald
Gay humanist junior: Wow, the professor literally just mansplained us the syllabus for 80 minutes.
Senior philosophy major: As a baby, I couldn't fall asleep unless I was listening to Wagner.
Socialite, stepping into driver’s seat of Audi A3: I was really nervous about driving in a foreign country, but now I feel better because I just… I know this car.
Princeton graduate, thesis prize winner: All my memories I remember in my mind.
Insta-gay consulting sellout: Every guy I've ever had sex with is in my econ class… and it's stressful.
Nass contributor: You have a little oppressor living in your heart and her name is Omarosa Manigault Newman.
Girlfriend, to boyfriend, making a move: Can’t we just hold hands like we’re elderly?