Overheard in a chemistry precept

TA: Office hours will be from seven to eight. PM, because I’m a loser and I don’t have anything better to do with my Friday night.

Overheard heading to pregame

Junior theta, to little boy: Do you want to come with us?!

Overheard in the Friend Center

Sophomore Pi Phi: Do you know what a humble Canada Goose is? A MonCler.

Overheard in a dorm

Insecure freshman: I wish I was a masochist so I could actually enjoy Princeton.

Overhead at Cap

Connecticut Son of Princeton: Last time I rebelled against my parents, I applied to Duke.

Overheard in the Lewis Center

Socially curious first-year: I don't understand Pi Phi. Is it just a coven of hot girls?

Overheard at Terrace

Junior history major: You have a tenuous grasp on both grammar and Marxism.

Overheard in Chancellor Green

Dismayed Frosh: I'm not upset my phone is wet. I'm upset that the water spilled was Voss

Overheard in seminar

Junior drinking from a S'well: I'm Puerto Rican, but not passionately Puerto Rican.

Overheard on the Computer Science concentrator listserv

Dep rep:
Dear students,
If your independent work/thesis project involves the use of drones, can you please contact me.

Overheard in Wright 11

Future Anna Wintour Assistant, raging at woven slippers: Every Chinese lady in America has those!

Overheard while hooking up in the midwest

Artsy sad boy: I didn't realize how sexy your turtleneck was.

Overheard via iMessage

Bored sophomore: Nobody takes me seriously in my quest to get a Juul.

Overheard at an Anscombe Society reception

Girl to friend: *loud whisper* I had the WEIRDEST dream that one of my friends… was a Lesbian!

Overheard at Terrace

Terran: "It makes sense that white people like avocado. It has no flavor."

Overheard on a Wednesday

Jewish senior: Never have I ever bought Plan B in shekels.

Overheard in Brown 420

Nass Managing Editor: Is it obnoxious to post this picture of Bombay Sapphire on my snap story?
Brooklynite: No, why would it be obnoxious?

Overheard in RoMa

Nasthead member: Cottage is way more mysterious than St. A's.

Overheard in seminar

Gossip-loving soph: So I heard Peter Singer is a nudist. He also has a secret cheese drawer, because he's vegan.

Overheard in ART214 Final Paper

Jewish-American Princess, in opening line: Are women crazy?

Overheard in Firestone

SWUG: I can't find out I'm pregnant the night before my Bridges midterm.

Overheard in East Pyne

Athlete girl, to friend in a pink drug rug: I like your weed jacket!

Overheard at Forbes Dining Hall

Frosh: Rhode Island isn't an island?!

Overheard on Snapchat

Junior Theta: My personal goal for this semester is to get in with the alt crew

Overheard at Soonja’s

Ivy ‘16 Grad: I’m not telling you to bicker McKinsey, but think about it.