TA: Office hours will be from seven to eight. PM, because I’m a loser and I don’t have anything better to do with my Friday night.
Sophomore Pi Phi: Do you know what a humble Canada Goose is? A MonCler.
Insecure freshman: I wish I was a masochist so I could actually enjoy Princeton.
Connecticut Son of Princeton: Last time I rebelled against my parents, I applied to Duke.
Socially curious first-year: I don't understand Pi Phi. Is it just a coven of hot girls?
Dismayed Frosh: I'm not upset my phone is wet. I'm upset that the water spilled was Voss
Junior drinking from a S'well: I'm Puerto Rican, but not passionately Puerto Rican.
If your independent work/thesis project involves the use of drones, can you please contact me.
Future Anna Wintour Assistant, raging at woven slippers: Every Chinese lady in America has those!
Artsy sad boy: I didn't realize how sexy your turtleneck was.
Girl to friend: *loud whisper* I had the WEIRDEST dream that one of my friends… was a Lesbian!
Nass Managing Editor: Is it obnoxious to post this picture of Bombay Sapphire on my snap story?
Brooklynite: No, why would it be obnoxious?
Gossip-loving soph: So I heard Peter Singer is a nudist. He also has a secret cheese drawer, because he's vegan.
Junior Theta: My personal goal for this semester is to get in with the alt crew