"Cool Kid" preceptor: They see everyone else doing binge drinking… wait. "Doing binge drinking." I promise I'm a cool kid!
Press Club Co-President: I don't think I ever really learned how to write an essay.
Manic pixie dream girl: Everyone knew the code so it was basically unlocked. The code was 42069.
Small-town soph, reminiscing: That’s really all you need -- a good, sexist high school boyfriend.
Franzia-drunk Ivy soph: And I was like, “This is a smoothie from the Wa -- where’s the Tico’s??”
Junior Terran: The only time I ever snorted Adderall, I hung out with neo-Nazis. They were surprisingly so normal.
Ivy soph, after learning he was younger than the frosh with whom he was speaking: Well I’m a member here so…
Sleep-deprived frosh, at 3 a.m.: I'm so pale because of the weather that I'm actually beginning to experience white privilege.
STN-less soph: I'm really into pie charts these days... like, emotional pie charts.
Soph woman: Come to TI to watch straight men shake their hips like they haven't told a lie in their lives.
Press Club co-president: I don't think I ever really learned how to write an essay.
Homesick New England soph: If Tom Brady retires before I graduate I'm dropping out.