Overheard in Stone

Ivy COS Senior, delivering goodies to the poor thesising seniors: I feel like Marie Curie. Oh shit I mean Mother Teresa... the two most important women in my life.

Overheard at TI

Bro, chugging beer: Everybody looking at me like I'm a bitch but I've just got sensitive teeth.

Overheard in an anthro course

Professor: I’m not anti-capitalist, but I am anti- radical inequality due to the structure of bourgeoisie capitalism.

Overheard in New York

Girl: When my mom got drunk she would wave lighters in my friends' faces and tell them not to get pregnant.

Overheard at Ivy

Incoming MS investment banking intern: When I was little, I loved the smell of cash.

Overheard at a USG meeting

Macedonian: You don’t hear Undergraduate Student Government and think, “this is something I want to join.”

Overheard in Firestone

Woke Bridge Year Senior: This shirt is kinda appropriative but I'm out of clean laundry.

Overheard in McDonnell

NES major: yo, fuck the middle east tho…

Overheard in McDonnell

Premed, on chem professor: He's like, actively decomposing.

Overheard in Witherspoon

Emphatic Brooklynite: You just can't be Republican on the subway.

Overheard in the art museum

Nass EIC: Is there a wholesome phrase with “ass” in it?

Overheard in Wu

Freshman girl, accusatorially: Do *you* like Maria Garlock's aura?

Overheard on Ivy patio

Junior: I just wanted to take chocolate sauce and sprinkles and fuck up her whole life.

Overheard in Stone

History major with JP draft due in several hours: I just thought of something to do to procrastinate, but then I forgot it.

Overheard in New York

Gay male: I'm only friends with girls on birth control.

Overheard in an Uber

Terrace shaman talking about minimalism: It’s all about getting rid of things that aren’t actually necessary in your life.
Other Terrace shaman: What about a pasta maker?
Terrace shaman #1: No -- that’s necessary.

Overheard in Frist

Freshman washed-up girl: Yeah, I mean, I know he does Liars' club, but he's a good guy!

Overheard in the darkroom

Freshman girl: What would the girl version of your name be? Daniela?
Boyfriend: Uhh I don’t know, that’s kinda slutty.

Overheard at Terrace

Terrace senior, talking about modern concubines: Indentured servitude is coming back into style.

Overheard in Small World

Basic B: I'm dropping A's.

Overheard on R Train

5 year old WASP: Being scammed is a preference.

Overheard in conversation

Australian junior wearing cheetah print: So what wave of feminism are we on??


Overheard in Walker

Degenerate to degenerate: Who knew porn could be so romantic? ;)

Overheard at Terrace

Self-proclaimed pretentious softboi: When I’m really fucked up, I love talking about how pretentious I am.

Overheard in Murray Dodge Cafe

Pseudo-intellectual: But indulge me in my thought experiment.