Overheard in a JRN class

Nass editor: I have really good musk.

Overheard at TI

Jewish man: I’m flexing to stay warm.

Overheard in Cuyler

Press Club co-president: I don't think I ever really learned how to write an essay.

Overheard in Terrace

Small-town soph: Flavored condoms are like … the worst.

Overheard in Whitman

Homesick New England soph: If Tom Brady retires before I graduate I'm dropping out.

Overheard before walk of shame

Fuckboy # 324: If there is anything I can do to make your stays more pleasant, please do let me know.

Overheard in Forbes

Senior woman looking at a poster: MAVRIC is like a group that organizes events to help men be less shitty men.
Zete junior: Believe it or not, that's also the mission statement of Zeta Psi.

Overheard in 1903

Senior female: I just don’t identify with the word “pussy.”

Overheard in Studio

Random soph: Thesis fairying is like social security. You pay into it for three years and then you get less than expected when you're a senior.

Overheard in Montreal

Former events editor: This is an advanced bakery.

Overheard over coffee

Philosophy major: Moms are a lot like 3D printers. . . . I heard that in a TED talk.

Overheard on iMessage

Ex-Nass Writer: It might be a caffeine high, or I might have just truly experienced cubism for the first time.

Overhead at Cap the Thursday before Spring Break

Drunk sophomore Cap member: These passes better get used. It's a waste of paper otherwise. I'm a conscious citizen of the Earth.
Female sophomore: Honestly, shut up.

Overheard in Firestone

HUM Alum: I write all my papers on sex. I'm the most virginal person I know. Riddle me that.

Overheard on Latin Spring Break Trip to Rome

Classics Junior: I'm a Eurocentric imperialist white man!
Professor: Calm down.

Overheard outside dorm after false fire alarm at 6am

Frosh girl to her roommate: I feel like we've really bonded over shared trauma now

Overheard in Forbes 162

Prospective English major in Calc I: When I factor something, I just like… orgasm.

Overheard at Nassau Hall:

Blonde Pi Phi drunkenly peeing on Nassau Hall:
This building is older than America!
Take that, old white men!

Overheard Outside Cafe Viv:

Girl: You can't come to Passover at my house, you're not Jewish.
Bro: But I'm in Apes.

Overheard at Terrace

Senior Terran: Sucking dick is not a personality trait.

Overheard at Terrace

Jewish American Princess: I’m a *woman*!!! When I got my IUD I felt like a woman again. I was like ‘bat mitzvah take 2!!!’

Overheard on serious seniors discussing life after college:

1: "But what do you ultimately want to be when you're older?"
2: "Retired"

Overheard on the B floor

Senior wearing Warby Parkers: I only use Twitter to follow basketball stars. And radical leftists. There's a lot of overlap.

Overheard in the privacy of a dorm room

"What are your favorite snacks?"
Picky eater roommate: I really like gruel.

Overheard by Frist

Group of girls, leaving the street: She was wearing stilettos. I mean, you do you… but she was doing you all wrong.