Overheard in Studio 34

Enlightened frosh on discovering Studio 34: I walked around the corner and found this utopia with a mini mart.

Overheard at Cottage

Impassioned junior: It’s literally so rude that JFK told the CIA to kill Marilyn Monroe.

Overheard in Whitman

Exasperated Sophomore: I just get put in classes that are like, “You're gonna learn better if you work with other people.” No! False! I'm gonna get angry if I work with other people!

Overhead setting up Bananagrams

Junior COS major: This might be too much for me.

Overheard in a Philosophy course

Philosophy professor: It's kind of common knowledge that Scientology is absolute garbage.

Overheard outside Olives

Junior, very un-ironically: It's @princeton.com, right?

Overheard in Terrace

Potential managing editor of The Prog: Going into "public service" is either McKinsey, the CIA, or politics — I mean, it's never picking up trash.

Overheard at Wilcox

Prospective religion major frosh: If Jesus is from the Middle East, why does he have a Hispanic name?

Overheard in an off-campus apartment

Junior RCA man, on the phone with waitress at Hunan: Good night, beautiful.

Overheard in J Street

Amused frosh: There are a surprising amount of kleptos on this campus.

Overheard at J Street

Innovative frosh: Do you think if I take a nap on top of my politics readings, I'll absorb the information through osmosis?

Overheard in McDonnell

Soph girl: Like have you seen the bees in the Bee Movie? They're hot.

Overheard in Frist

Worried student to strangers: Have you seen a taller, older white man in pajama pants?

Overhead at TI

TI Senior: I’m a lesbian, don’t try to tell me otherwise.

Overheard in Forbes

Wise sophomore: You can’t treat men like human beings or they’ll think you want to sleep with them.

Overheard outside Firestone

Sophomore, evaluating validity of freshman's opinion: I’m not racist or homophobic, but I am ageist.

Overheard at TI Stairs

TI Junior 1: It’s like we’re on the Met steps.
TI Junior 2: Where’s my fat-free yogurt?

Overheard in Frist

Oblivious freshman: You can't take abuse? Why not?

Overheard in Whitman

Pre-med frosh who hates science: What would my alter-ego be?
Friend: A doctor.

Overheard on Google

Nass editor: "list of conspiracy theories"

Overheard in Whitman dining hall

Confused freshman: So you know how I had my one on one for Writing Sem today. I walk in, and she says 'So your draft is one page. And it's blank.'

Overheard in Whitman

Lax Bro 1: What's a SHARE peer?
Lax Bro 2: No, Chad's not here.

Overheard somewhere

HUM freshman: I can't, I have to go read the Bible.

Overheard in Frist

Overly conscious freshman: That's not a guy name. Wait, names don't have gender. I messed up!

Overheard in Firestone

Famous black astrologist: I need to be somewhere in the cosmos, don't I? Why not Princeton library?