Overheard on Nassau Street

Journalism intern: You're a different person now.
Investment banking intern: I'm the same person. Just with more Excel shortcuts.

16 

Overheard in Frist

Stressed-out sophomore: I'll be honest, I think I probably have a solid cry about once a month. Usually in the shower. Put on some sad music and just go for it. That way I'm not wasting time. I mean, we all have to shower.

15 

Overheard in a bed

Woman 1: It's crazy how easy it is to have a civil, friendly meal with people you profoundly dislike.
Woman 2, cheerfully: That's the magic of TI!

15 

Overheard outside Frist

Orange Key guide: Princeton Preview is a great chance to sleep with a student.

14 

Overheard in Butler

Apes bro, scrolling through newsfeed: What are 5 foods that kill testosterone? If guacamole’s on this I'm so fucked.

13 

Overheard by Pyne

PFA male: You don't want to know too many atheists. It means you're not converting them fast enough.

11 

Overheard in 1903

SWUG, reading her ex's Facebook status: Anyone want to make latkes? Also, I'm bisexual.

11 

Overheard on study abroad in London

Princeton dropout, pointing at a Fjallraven Kanken backpack: I could wipe my butt with that.

11 

Overheard at Ivy

Senior man on the Tigerbook controversy: For some reason I didn't feel bothered by the NSA but I do feel bothered by this.

10 

Overheard in Ivy

Sophomore Pi Phi: What does WASP stand for? White, average-sized person?

Overheard in Wright

Princeton graduate, analyst: Yeah I really like my job! I had to teach some guy how to recycle yesterday and that was tough, but I really like it so far!

Overheard at postgame:

Astonished Ivy member: The TI women's bathroom is a freaking help desk. No, more than that. I walk into a bunch of girls who are too drunk, and there's a whole chain of command in place to help them.

Overheard on Facetime

Yale grad student: New Haven has a surprising amount of nature. Like, rocks.

Overheard at a Nass meeting

St. Ann’s alum: My shower shoes are Birkenstocks.

Overheard at Terrace

Terran, upon hearing that North Korea accused Trump of declaring war: I never thought I'd have a jalapeño popper in my mouth when I learned of the beginning of the apocalypse.

Overheard in TI

Senior Woman: I'm strictly attracted to Jewish boys. Don't verbatim me. I'm LOOSELY attracted to Jewish boys.

Overheard in RoMa

Nass editor, on former roommate: We crossed paths so little last year that I didn't even find out he had an exorcism until like three days ago.

Overheard on Poe Field

Nass publisher: I like to think of the Nass as a less sexy Playboy.

Overheard at Quaker Bridge Mall

Ivy junior to junior history major: We’re such douchebags. You just said "bourgeois means of production" in a Claire's.

Overheard coming back from Terrace

Sober sophomore: You smell like weed and sadness.

Overheard in an elevator

Drunk girl in sequins: Only cool people allowed. Only people who like Lean Cuisine.

Overheard at Sunday brunch

Female Ivy junior, after a conversation about Saturday night sexcapades: We are just like Sex and the City…actually, it's more like Abstinence and the Suburbs.

Overheard in Laughlin

Woman: Hey, it's fine, you're not making out with his morals.

Overheard at Cloister

Banker: Are there any hot guys in your summer analyst class?

Overheard after a Nass meeting

Yung aspiring journalist: I want to third floor bicker the New Yorker.