Overheard in 1902

Junior woman: You went to an A$AP Mob concert?
Sophomore A's aspirant: I went to their album release party and groped A$AP Rocky while he was performing.

Overheard in LAS 371

Professor: What do you think about the recent news on Puerto Rico?
Cottage junior: I feel like before this I didn't even know where it was on the map. I just had, like, no consciousness of it.
Professor: …Where did you think it was?
Cottage junior: Idk in like the Pacific or something.

Overheard in Wright

Ivy girl/Reproductive Justice fighter: PHEROMONES!!!

Overheard at Ivy

Ivy senior/Zete ringleader: Yeah, so let's do those same Zete hoodies from last year but with Trump on the front.

Overheard in Club Monaco

Sophomore Theta with a fiber stomachache: I just love legumes, but I literally couldn’t even go to Olives anymore if I stopped eating them. I only eat legumes there.

Overheard outside a vape shop

Frosh who just bought a Juul: Wait, I hope I don't get ice cream on my Juul.

Overheard at Terrace

Feminist: I think each one of her boobs are eighteen of my boobs.

Overheard in Terrace

Ivy junior: How much do you think Graham Phillips thinks about me?

Overheard at Ivy

Nass member: As a man with a sixteen-inch penis, I cannot be confined to boxer briefs.

Overheard at Terrace

Terran: "It makes sense that white people like avocado. It has no flavor."

Overheard in Pyne

Dangerously high male, to art major/significant other: You are so aesthetic but you have no utility.

Overheard at Terrace

Shaman woman: So I got a three-pack of Disney knickers. One of them was Mulan.

Overheard strolling along prospect avenue

St. B's senior: Someone once described Cannon to me as a glorified Chili's

12 

Overheard on NJ transit

Sad boy: The poetry grind never ends.

Overheard at beach resort

Nanny: We can't buy this right now. It's too much money
Six-year-old: It's okay. We'll just get Daddy's credit card.

Overheard in the Friend Center

Sophomore Pi Phi: Do you know what a humble Canada Goose is? A MonCler.

Overheard in Wright 11

Future Anna Wintour Assistant, raging at woven slippers: Every Chinese lady in America has those!

Overheard on the patio of Ivy

Ivy senior: How would you characterize the spectacle that is TI?
Ivy junior: A concrete hellhole in which beer-soaked children grind on one another

Overheard at Murray Dodge

St. A's Interviewee: People don't think English is hard until I tell them I'm going to law school after.

Overheard at Cottage Bicker

Yeah, I carry a knife around to fight the blacks.

Overhead in a dorm room

Dramatic Pi Phi, on the phone a month-long boyfriend in Forbes: It's tough, but could we consider this an LDR?

Overheard in a bed

Woman 1: It's crazy how easy it is to have a civil, friendly meal with people you profoundly dislike.
Woman 2, cheerfully: That's the magic of TI!

18 

Overheard in Frist

Pi Phi, future banker: He's totally gonna be successful, he's so white and fat.

Overheard at Ivy

Jewish Ivy junior, sincerely: Quad don’t give no fucks.

Overheard in TI

Senior man: Are you drunk? You smell like beer.
Senior female: That does not us drunk make.