Overheard in Los Angeles:
Kobe Bryant: When I’m out there being aggressive and doing my thing, [Pau Gasol] needs to follow suit and just be just as aggressive which is hard for him because it’s kind of against his nature. But I think tonight was a good step ... Even when he was in Memphis and he was the go-to guy, he was always very nice. Very white swan. I need him to be black swan.
Guy: Morning wood is the body's way of keeping you from peeing at night. When you piss the bed when you're drunk, it's because you have whiskey dick and can't get it up.
Girl: I think my dog misses her uterus.
Officer: I can't seem to zip up my fly these days.
Guy: I love uptown girls. I want to blow a line of them.
Girl: If I had a toilet like that I'd never stop pooping
Girl 1: Iʼm thinking about taking orders.
Girl 2: What does that mean?
Girl 1: You know...becoming a nun.
Girl 2: Ohhhh. I thought you meant taking orders at a drive through window.
Guy: (in reference to the vagina monologues) So tomorrow is vagina day....
Girl: Every day is vagina day when youʼre a girl.