Verbatim for Nov 8, 2001

Professor Amy Borovoy, ANT 390

See you on Thursday for our cockfight.

Overheard outside the Art Museum

Doesn’t Islamic law say you get 67 virgins if you die in holy war?

Overheard outside Scully

All I’m saying is, Mother Teresa died a virgin. That might not be all that great.
Ok, Mother Teresa clearly did not die a virgin.
How do you know that?
You could see it in her eyes.

Overheard in Henry

There is such a thing as Caucasian-ness in a bottle. It’s called Budweiser.

Overheard in Little

I think she is off somewhere with a Jew-cock in her.
Yep. The question of which one is purely academic.

Overheard in Frist

At least she’s abroad this semester so I don’t have to hear him talk about how he likes to fart on her sweaty stomach after they fuck.

Overheard from a Wilson advisor

There was a black civil rights movement?

Wilson Frosh after discovering that coupons given out by Christian group had already expired.

If Jesus were here right now, I’d punch him.

Professor Seegers, Pol 366 lecture

Loyalty is an overrated virtue. If you get into a bad marriage, get out. I haven’t even had a drink yet.

Overheard in Terrace Club

I have a penis, but it’s inverted and you can put other penises in it.
That’s a vagina.

Overheard in Aaron Burr

I went to special dinner with him last night at Rocky.
Special dinner?
Yeah, if by ‘special dinner’ I mean a pie plate with a hole poked in it and his dick sticking through.

Chemistry Professor

If you’ve never seen a set of balls before, you can stay after class and see mine.

In precept for CLA 212

Sorry but I haven’t looked at your papers yet because it didn’t fit into my plan of partying like a rockstar this weekend. I mean, you wouldn’t have wanted me to grade your papers while high on crack, would you?

While studying paintings for an art midterm

I would fuck her, if she was still alive.