Open Internet networks are so common these days that warnings about unwanted invasions of privacy have dimmed almost to silence. With people continually posting pictures of themselves, along with private information, on websites such as MySpace and Facebook, everyone has access to strangers’ inner worlds. The Internet abounds with true ...

Maidens yet unyoked shall shear their hair for you when they wed, and through ages long shall reap the great morning of your tears.”
- Euripides
Who would not sing for Britney? She knew herself to sing! If not to sing, not always, we knew her to –sync, anon to sink ...

Prime Mover: Thanks for having Me.
Earthly Representative: It’s our pleasure. We’re really excited to have you here.
PM: Ah, no worries. I was here already.
ER: And, personally speaking, it is such an honor to meet you.
PM: Man, you already knew Me in your heart.
ER: Really?
PM: No, I’m joking. But we have met already.

We at The Nass are in the business of maintaining our cherished readership’s happiness in all walks of life, and with Valentine’s Day a recent but no less traumatic event of the past, we understand how draining (both emotionally and financially) that lover can be on you. We ...

We here at The Nassau Weekly love to hate the The Prince. Yet as the events surrounding the Printsanything scandal unfolded, we found that even our cold hearts were moved to sympathy. Sure, the Gaily Printsanything made us all shudder with embarrassment, like when our old uncle Herbert reenacts a ...

1.
Mother. She must be.
I think.
Hands are folded, mouth is folded, below a collapsible razor nose. But that was before that type of folding razor, and my mother wouldn’t have had one for a nose, anyway. The eyes, though, there are elements in the eyes. Pigments, I ...

On the eve of World War I, an aged Alice checks into a Swiss hotel, carrying with her a large looking glass. Next door, Wendy, still reminiscing over Peter Pan, lies side by side with her dry, buttoned-up husband. Later in the night, Dorothy, her long red hair from her ...

Daring, bold 5'9" Jewish M with extreme good looks has decided not to be daring and bold by placing an ad for a similarly attractive F, height < 5'8". Think Annie Hall for a better looking, more bold and daring Alvy Singer. If you don't know what I'm talking about, it might not work.

On CNN, I think, the election night coverage was titled ‘America Votes.’ I was watching and a friend next to me said, “No, it doesn’t.”
At face value, the descriptive statement ‘America Votes’ is false. America really doesn’t vote, at least not the majority that can. The sentence ...

I've made a vow not to subject students to my highly educated and refined political world view, aka my rantings and ravings about the contemporary political situation, but I don't mind admitting that I'm totally obsessed with U.S. electoral detailia – I'm talking obsession like something ...

My father is a newsman, and during the election season he heads down to D.C. to do reporting. When Rumsfeld resigned, I knew that he would be thrilled. Donald Rumsfeld is one of my father’s least favorite Americans. When I heard the news, I gave him a call ...

On autumn Sundays my parents would fuck wildly, like children. I remember this vividly. It was November and the air had begun to turn to steel. The turn was final. Pennsylvania does this each year—dies, maybe before Halloween, maybe after, gives way to night as a jack-o-lantern collapses to ...

The myriad of bottled water options currently flooding the market – spring, mineral, purified, distilled, carbonated, oxygenated, caffeinated, vitamin-enriched, flavored – leave many a savvy beverage consumer mystified by their relative merits and flaws. As if bottled water weren’t decadent enough in and of itself, water bars now populate the hipper ...

Polarization pays. For every DailyKos, there’s an O’Reilly Factor; for every Michael Moore, an Ann Coulter; for every Russ Feingold – a liberal populist Senator eyeing the Presidency – there’s a Sam Brownback, an evangelical conservative Senator hoping for the same. Alienation has bolstered both sides, spiking viewer ratings ...