Since the advent of the internet, the intimacy that we feel with our pop songs has changed. When content is so utterly customizable, taste is automatically effected; musical taste can now be articulated in a broad spectral slate of enumerations—the hyper-textual urge to craft for yourself a sort of ...

So we’ve all seen Rob Biederman’s egg-hunt email. It got us to thinking…what if the USG reconceived every important holiday? A few ideas:

I’m a sweet voice,
I’m a big commission,
I’m composer’s choice,
I’m a fresh rendition,
A grand premier, a higher sphere, a call for more,
A Caruso, a gracious nod, a last encore,
A curtain call, a concert hall, a latest thing, a star&#8213 ...

You know what we’re bored of? Everything that isn’t a Nassau Weekly Lifestlyes Issue. But a Nassau Weekly Lifestyles Issue, now that, that is something we can get excited about!
You might be asking: what are these new-fangled lifestyles? Do I have one? Is this issue about me ...

It is the most dangerous game in Panama - one where the hunter always becomes the hunted.” It was to these words of wisdom that I clinked my glass in preparation for my imminent discovery of those gargoyle-like beasts—the type one would only expect to see hanging off of the ...

Q: What is a solipsist?
A: Why are you asking me this? You know what a solipsist is.

Open Internet networks are so common these days that warnings about unwanted invasions of privacy have dimmed almost to silence. With people continually posting pictures of themselves, along with private information, on websites such as MySpace and Facebook, everyone has access to strangers’ inner worlds. The Internet abounds with true ...

Maidens yet unyoked shall shear their hair for you when they wed, and through ages long shall reap the great morning of your tears.”
- Euripides
Who would not sing for Britney? She knew herself to sing! If not to sing, not always, we knew her to –sync, anon to sink ...

Prime Mover: Thanks for having Me.
Earthly Representative: It’s our pleasure. We’re really excited to have you here.
PM: Ah, no worries. I was here already.
ER: And, personally speaking, it is such an honor to meet you.
PM: Man, you already knew Me in your heart.
ER: Really?
PM: No, I’m joking. But we have met already.

We at The Nass are in the business of maintaining our cherished readership’s happiness in all walks of life, and with Valentine’s Day a recent but no less traumatic event of the past, we understand how draining (both emotionally and financially) that lover can be on you. We ...

We here at The Nassau Weekly love to hate the The Prince. Yet as the events surrounding the Printsanything scandal unfolded, we found that even our cold hearts were moved to sympathy. Sure, the Gaily Printsanything made us all shudder with embarrassment, like when our old uncle Herbert reenacts a ...

1.
Mother. She must be.
I think.
Hands are folded, mouth is folded, below a collapsible razor nose. But that was before that type of folding razor, and my mother wouldn’t have had one for a nose, anyway. The eyes, though, there are elements in the eyes. Pigments, I ...

On the eve of World War I, an aged Alice checks into a Swiss hotel, carrying with her a large looking glass. Next door, Wendy, still reminiscing over Peter Pan, lies side by side with her dry, buttoned-up husband. Later in the night, Dorothy, her long red hair from her ...