Things that I've Googled.

The philosophers tell us that everyone has, at some point in their life, given or received a handjob*. Science bears this out. Thing is, though, that handjobs just aren’t that great. Nobody really likes giving them, and, save for a pretty good half-second towards the end, nobody really likes ...

There is a War on Doing Less going on in this campus. And, not unlike many great wars before it (Second Punic, Cold, Fox television’s “The War at Home”, etc.), you may not realize which side you should be on until it’s too late. The war is fueled ...

The Facebook community has been under silent attack for the past few months, and the evidence is plastered all over the Walls. Careful observers have probably already spotted a few of these malignant growths on their Newsfeeds: posts that look something like Zack Newick, Giri Nathan and 15 other friends like “OMG Justin Bieber Really said that ?!!”

Dan edits Giri's college app
Page 1, Page 2, Page 3

Dear Smart Sally,
What should I get my boyfriend for Valentine’s Day?
Signed,
Clueless in Cuyler

Dear Clueless,
Men only want one thing from us: hand-knit socks. So, grab your knitting needles and a big ball of wool and get cracking. Good luck!
Smart Sally

Dear Smart Sally,
Lately ...

Dear Sexpert,
If someone rims my ass am I still a virgin?
- Carnally Concerned

Dear Wise Wendy,
I’m having trouble getting anything done for class now that it’s nice outside. Any suggestions as we move into finals?
From,
Procrastinator

Dear Wise Wendy,
How do you snookle a pookieboogle?
Snook-Curious

Dear Wise Wendy,
I can’t reach the top shelf in my house, but I need to get something out of it! What do I do?
From,
Shorty with a Problem