we drove up the long hill to the top
of the cemetery
she showed me how they portioned off the dead
the Serbians here, the Blacks on the other side,
then the Greeks at the end.
I got out of the idling car and walked up the hill
to the grave.
the snow had completely covered the stone, but
she knew where to find it.
I crouched down and started to clear away
the snow with my bare hands
she told me to stop, to just use my foot
but I wanted to clear away every flake.
that night it snowed again and
as I lay in bed listening to the snow fall
who would be there
to clear away the flakes tomorrow.
They have chopped off my breasts
There is nothing left
I am the anti-castrate
Look at me, no don’t look at me
You can not understand
They tell to become hardened
No emotions, no emotions at all
That is not who I am any longer
I am unbeautiful
My hair has been cut off
Severed right at the scalp
Look at it all over the floor
All around my feet, lost forever
I am angry, aggression and lust
I want to fight, to punch, to kick
Please don’t look at me like that,
I do not need your help
I am alone, all alone, I must do this alone
I can no longer express how I feel.
Of Love and Clay
I was built long ago
Out of love and clay
Molded by many careful hands,
And a few reckless ones.
Clay from ancient ruins,
Mixed with soil from ancient graves.
The clay, like love, has been recycled
The remnants of a thousand cities
And a thousand loves,
Once released and now in me.
My love for you,
I have molded and shaped,
Cultivated and caressed.
What was once the love of gods and kings,
Is now mine and mine for you.
And as I sit alone in the quiet shade
I think of you, and I know myself,
In the strength of the love of thousands past.