FROM: Marky Berkowitz
TO: Mom
TIME: 11:51 p.m.
SUBJECT: toothbrush
hi do you remember if we unpacked my toothbrush when i moved in? i cant find it.
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FROM: Marky Berkowitz
TO: Joline Hall
TIME: 11:54 p.m.
SUBJECT: lost
hi joline hall,
sorry to spam all of your guyses inboxes but i was wondering if anyone had seen my toothbrush in the bathroom? i thought i used it my first day here but now i cant find it so i was wondering if anyone had seen it. i have been using other toothbrushes until now but now i want to use mine because my teeth feel bad and so if youve seen my toothbrush (its red, it has a little bit of blue i think on the brush part of it) then please either respond to this email o rfind me on facebook so that i can get it back and use it.
thanks,
Marky Berkowitz ’14
(ps, it would probably be in the bathroom on the first floor of the third entryway because thats closest to where i live and its the bathroom ive been using the most)
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FROM: Marky Berkowitz
TO: Mom
TIME: 12:07 a.m.
SUBJECT: the draft of the email
hi again,
this is what i have so far, let me know if i should send it:
Dear Professor,
You probably mightn’t know me by name, but I sat on in your 200 person lecture class the other day, so you probably know me by my face by now. Thank you for letting me sit in on your lecture, but I do not think that I will be able to take it this semester. My workload is too full and plus I have to get other requirements out of the way (like an LA, and my EM) so I thought that maybe it would be better if I didn’t end up actually taking it this semester, and if later on it seems like my interests are still in the area of Biology, then I will consider taking the class again and actually taking it this time. I didn’t understand the whole lecture but the parts that I understood I thought were good and so I had wanted to see more of it.
Thank you again and I’m sorry that I couldn’t take your class, but my preceptor was really cool and he walked with a limp and I thought it was a cool thing that he was so confident even with that limp. I hope that you have a great semester and it’s too bad that it couldn’t work out this time around.
Best Wishes and Thanks Again and Sorry Again,
Marky Berkowitz, ’14
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FROM: Marky Berkowitz
TO: Ted
TIME: 12:16 a.m.
SUBJECT: girlfriend?
hey teddy,
sorry to be forward or awkward or anything, but could i ask your girlfriend to be writing sem partners? i know youve been together since OA so i wouldnt try anything sketchy on her–we had a little bit of chemistry when we met at the beginning of the year, but i think it would be find for us to work together since im good at putting awkward/tense things aside in order to just hang out so you wouldnt have to be worried about me doing something sketchy like making a move on her when we’re working on the writing sem stuff.
thanks,
marky
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FROM: Marky Berkowitz
TO: Gawker
TIME: 12:21 a.m.
SUBJECT: john nash
hey celeb sighting here: i go to princeton (freshman year) and i think i saw john nash earlier when i was walking from the bookstore to my dorm room, he was walking down the street and he was holding a cup of coffee but i didnt see him drink it (weird?) and so i thought i should let you guys know. i tried to take a picture with my phone but my phone doesnt have a camera so it didnt work.
keep it real,
marky berkowitz Princeton Class of 2014
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FROM: Marky Berkowitz
TO: Gawker
TIME: 12:23 a.m.
SUBJECT: also
also, another celeb sighting: i saw cornel west walking around with a girl who looked like melissa joan hart (i dont think it was actually melissa joan hart, it just looked like her) and he turned back onto campus (he teaches at my school) so he might still be around here (if not, he’ll probably be back here tomorrow morning or at least afternoon because hes giving a lecture on campus i think sometime tomorrow, or he might teach a class on tuesdays i dont know his schedule)
peace,
marky berk
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FROM: Marky Berkowitz
TO: Mom
TIME: 12:32 a.m.
SUBJECT: found it!
hi i emailed my hall because my roommate suggested it right after i emailed you earlier and then someone emailed me back and said that they had found it in the bathroom so i checked and it was there. i havent used it yet though but im pretty sure its mine but ill be able to tell soon after i use it. also did you look at that draft of the email i want to send to my professor? i want to send it soon before its late and he plans for his lecture (its on wednesday) so let me know as soon as you read it so that i can send it to him ASAP.
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FROM: Marky Berkowitz
TO: Joline Hall
TIME: 12:35 a.m.
SUBJECT: toothbrush found!
hi joline hall,
sorry for cluttering up your inboxes with these emails but i wanted to report that the toothbrush was found earlier and i have been emailed by the person who found it to tell me that it was in the bathroom so i got it from there. thanks for your help! also if any of you guys have passes to TI please let me know because id like to go out but i cant find any passes. if you can give me a pass i can hit you back by helping you out to get something cool back (like food or something).
thanks, peace out,
marky
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FROM: Marky Berkowitz
TO: Dr. Moskowitz
TIME: 12:49 a.m.
SUBJECT: teeth problem
hi doctor,
i used a toothbrush that i thought was mine but my mouth went numb right after i used it and when i looked at what had happened i saw that it was my toothbrush after all but i had used this chemical stuff my roommate keeps next to his bed because i thought it was toothpaste but later he told me that it was for his face. i found your email because my dad knows it but he doesnt know your number, could you send that to me? also, what should i do about my teeth?
thanks, i’m concerned,
marky berkowitz ’14
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FROM: Marky Berkowitz
TO: Jack Wilson
TIME: 12:56 a.m.
SUBJECT: precept questions
Sorry to be emailing you about precept this late at night (I was going to email you earlier but all of this stuff happened with my toothbrush and now I’m having further problems with my teeth), but I had a question pertaining to the readings that we were supposed to do for it. I’m dropping my other lecture class so I don’t know about how to use BlackBoard yet because I was supposed to post for that class also but now I’m dropping it because of requirement issues. Are we supposed to do the readings before we post on BlackBoard, or should we post on BlackBoard first and then do the readings afterwards to see if we got the posting right? I don’t want you think that I’m cheating if I read the readings first before posting so I wanted to ask you about the order first.
Thanks A Lot, Best,
Marky Berkowitz ’14 (I’m in your Thursday precept, in case you have others so you’re confused)
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FROM: Marky Berkowitz
TO: Professor Wright
TIME: 1:07 a.m.
SUBJECT: dropping your class
Dear Professor,
Thank You for letting me sit in your lecture, but I do not think that I will be able to take it this semester. My workload is too full and plus I have to get other requirements out of the way (like an LA and an EM) so I have made the decision that I have to drop your class.
Thank you again and I’m sorry that I couldn’t take your class. I thought the preceptor was good, but on top of that the class was really good in and of itself. I hope that you have a great semester and it’s too bad that I couldn’t stay in your lecture, or in my preceptor’s precept. Please plan accordingly–I’m sorry to give you such short notice on this but I had a lot of stuff going on tonight involving my teeth.
Best Wishes and Sorry Again,
Marky Berkowitz, ’14
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FROM: Marky Berkowitz
TO: Sarah Gilberto
TIME: 1:22 a.m.
SUBJECT: writing seminar partners
hey,
i’m in your Writing Seminar and i know that we have to pair up to work on making up a thesis for our next paper and talking about them. want to be my partner? i saw that you are from new jersey, is that cool? anyways, let me know. btw, i already talked to teddy (we met each other during freshman week and hung out a bunch on the street) and he told me that it was cool with him if i talked to you about being partners, so dont worry if you feel awkward about that or anything.
peace,
marky
ps–i saw john nash earlier! lol first celeb spotting so far besides cornel west (i saw him today too)