You really suck at beer pong,
but I’ll remain your partner.
If you were laying down,
Laying across a big brass bed,
I could pour milk in your dimples,
And eat Capt’n Crunch out of them.
You seem like the kind of dude
Who’s never gotten off in a public restroom,
which is cool.
What’s not cool is Facebook stalking you,
But I’ll continue to do it daily
(please check your messages).
I want your Jewish wisdom
To wash over me like a cold Pacific wave.
I want you to notice my new sweater
And how it fits my torso tightly.
I hope that one day
You get a solid middle-management job
with a decent insurance plan,
You meet a nice woman and move to the suburbs,
But for now, I want to be enough for you.
I want to know what you want.
Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day
shall I compare thee to a Saturday night, cus
thou art more lovely than the TI basement.
The caress of your hand as we high five.
Two cups sunk means balls back.
You throw it with such perfect arc, such subtle touch
It’s almost like you’re writing
In a self-published book you can buy online
Profits go to your high school English teacher, but
The real benefit is mine.
Cus what I’m reading is such beautiful
If you asked me to walk back to Forbes,
I’d probably say yeah
But just to chill and play Game Cube or something.
On the way you’d bask in the WaWa light-
A glorious fluorescent glow
On your grey Disney crew neck.