A Fishmas Miracle
We left our Fish to Die this break,
unaware in their tank
they were walking the plank
As we sunbathed on the beach eating steak.
A three-week sentence in a dusty, dark room,
no people to feed
their most vital needs
As they drifted towards their doom.
We dumped in a handful of food and Left
our nest empty and cold
water dirty, and old,
Praying we’d return and still have some pets.
Perhaps Poseidon was there,
Someone answered our prayers!
They’re better than ever, we swear.
Old Twins: A Diatribe
It was cute when you were young I guess,
walking around in matching dress,
tricking teachers, parents too
who couldn’t tell quite who was who.
But now you’re fucking old as shit.
Most twins your age by now have split.
Get your own lives, pretty please?
Be happy you’re not siamese.
Forgive (it to) me Father
Confessional glory holes,
Celestial pleasure troves.
Professional holy blows
Discretional Tebow hoes.