A Fishmas Miracle

We left our Fish to Die this break,

unaware in their tank

they were walking the plank

As we sunbathed on the beach eating steak.

A three-week sentence in a dusty, dark room,

no people to feed

their most vital needs

As they drifted towards their doom.

We dumped in a handful of food and Left

our nest empty and cold

water dirty, and old,

Praying we’d return and still have some pets.

Perhaps Poseidon was there,

Someone answered our prayers!

They’re better than ever, we swear.

Old Twins: A Diatribe

It was cute when you were young I guess,

walking around in matching dress,

tricking teachers, parents too

who couldn’t tell quite who was who.

But now you’re fucking old as shit.

Most twins your age by now have split.

Get your own lives, pretty please?

Be happy you’re not siamese.

Forgive (it to) me Father

Confessional glory holes,

Celestial pleasure troves.

Professional holy blows


Discretional Tebow hoes.

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