I’m thinking of giving out blowjobs for Lent.
Don’t you mean you’re thinking about giving them up?
What? Sex makes you fat? Well then it’s a good thing I’m not having sex, because I’ve already gained seven pounds this year.
When I’m sucking a guy’s dick, I sort of like to be able to gag. I don’t know, I guess it’s just comforting.
I don’t smoke, I just see things sometimes.
New Hampshire is the sweating vagina of New England.
I don’t think old people are useless, I just find it easier to kill them.
This book is truly pathetic and not really useful. I would strongly encourage you not to look at it... But it’s mandatory.
Astrology is evil and bad. I’m not trying to be judgemental, I’m just saying.
Pluto is moonwhipped.