Wanna Bum me a Cigarette

February 26, 2004

Verbatim

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Overheard on the Ivy Club list

I lost some Gucci loafers, a pink Vineyard Vines tie, and some blue pants with whale print from J.McLaughlin during initiations. If you have any of these items…

Overheard on the Terrace Club list

I realized I lost another item at Terrace. Around 2:30 I lost my dignity somewhere on the bar in the taproom. If anyone has seen it or knows its whereabouts…

Overheard in Frist, 2:13AM:

Grad Student: [reeling drunkenly into Oaf] “YOU, sir, are a - “
Enormous Oaf: [with bloodlust] “WHAT? What am I?”
Grad Student: “A captain of industry!”

Guy reading the Daily Princetonian

To Joe Barillari: I apologize for calling you a douchebag. I meant to call you a fucking douchebag.

Overheard by the Dinky Station

Guy: You’ll never believe what happened to me this weekend in the city.
Girl: What? What happened?
Guy: I was at this bar and I saw the girl who played Alex Mack on television was at the bar. So I walked up to her and struck up a conversation. Then, like, in midsentence, I pointed over her shoulder and yelled, “Omigod! Look!”. And when she turned around, I spilled my drink on the floor and then ran behind her as she was turning around, and when she turned back around I was behind her and she was just looking at this puddle on the floor, and I said behind her back, “I know what I’m doing, Ray!”, and she totally thought that the puddle on the floor was me, and that I had the powers she had on the show, probably.

Overheard in a Joline dorm room

Dude: You all right, man?
Cousin: My stomach... it feels like... there’s meals inside.