Wanna Bum me a Cigarette

February 26, 2004

Arrivederci, Baby

The last episode of Sex and the City was totally awesome, and I should know because I watched it.

by Ari Samsky on February 25, 2004March 17, 2013

The crowd at Theatre Intime on the opening night of Clouds was definitely “intime”. The number of people on stage was roughly mirrored by the number of people in the audience, which incidentally consisted of close friends (read: relatives) of … Read More

by Nicki Chandris on February 25, 2004March 17, 2013

An Italian in Princeton

Every so often, perhaps on mornings that are either particularly busy or particularly still, I get the feeling that I am walking through the Princeton campus like a zombie, my face whitened by the seemingly eternal winter, sub-ocular scrota pronounced … Read More

by Nicole Oncina (aka “The Coed”) on February 25, 2004March 17, 2013

In Defense of Cigarettes and Smokers

There is something intimately sensual about it, and I’m sure many smokers will agree with me. The elegant dance of fresh hot tobacco smoke rising into the transparent expanse, traversing only for a moment the contours of moving air and then diffusing casually into its surroundings, leaving behind only the stale scent of a bowling alley late at night.

by Benjy Gerut on February 25, 2004March 17, 2013

Anne

We have known each other for a long time, since we were four years old and living on the same block of brownstones in Brooklyn, going to ballet lessons at the Albee School of Dance, where our teacher Nana made … Read More

by Mimi Chubb on February 25, 2004March 17, 2013

The English Major and the Policy Speech: An Encounter

The morning of the Colin Powell lecture, I stood in line outside of Richardson Auditorium with my friend Beth. Beth takes Arabic. Last summer, she worked for a senator in Washington. She just applied to Woody Woo. She knows her … Read More

by Eleanor Barkhorn on February 25, 2004March 17, 2013

I Have a Weapons-of-Mass-Destruction-Related-Program-Activity in My Pants

I think I’ve finally got the screwball logic of our commander-n-thief figured out. G-dub’s advisors actually got it together and read something – in print! Unfortunately for us it was George Orwell’s classic, 1984. On page four (of my paperback … Read More

by Eamon Carrig on February 25, 2004March 17, 2013

J.M. Coetzee’s Newest Book Revealed!

In perhaps the greatest scoop of the year, specialists with the Nassau Weekly Department of Literary Espionage discovered an advance copy of J.M. Coetzee’s newest work in the men’s room stall of “The Mother of All Bathrooms” on the 300 … Read More

by Rob Buerki on February 25, 2004March 17, 2013

Untitled

FRIDAY 12 p.m. – 1 p.m. Brown Bag Seminar Speaker: Kelly Caylor Location: E-219 Engineering quad In what’s become a kind of staple for the Weekend Page, we once again hit the Brown Bag Seminar. The burning question is: what … Read More

by Jacob O. Gold on February 25, 2004March 17, 2013

Verbatim

Overheard in a Joline dorm room

Dude: You all right, man?
Cousin: My stomach... it feels like... there’s meals inside.

Overheard on the Ivy Club list

I lost some Gucci loafers, a pink Vineyard Vines tie, and some blue pants with whale print from J.McLaughlin during initiations. If you have any of these items…

Overheard on the Terrace Club list

I realized I lost another item at Terrace. Around 2:30 I lost my dignity somewhere on the bar in the taproom. If anyone has seen it or knows its whereabouts…

Overheard in Frist, 2:13AM:

Grad Student: [reeling drunkenly into Oaf] “YOU, sir, are a - “
Enormous Oaf: [with bloodlust] “WHAT? What am I?”
Grad Student: “A captain of industry!”

Guy reading the Daily Princetonian

To Joe Barillari: I apologize for calling you a douchebag. I meant to call you a fucking douchebag.

Overheard by the Dinky Station

Guy: You’ll never believe what happened to me this weekend in the city.
Girl: What? What happened?
Guy: I was at this bar and I saw the girl who played Alex Mack on television was at the bar. So I walked up to her and struck up a conversation. Then, like, in midsentence, I pointed over her shoulder and yelled, “Omigod! Look!”. And when she turned around, I spilled my drink on the floor and then ran behind her as she was turning around, and when she turned back around I was behind her and she was just looking at this puddle on the floor, and I said behind her back, “I know what I’m doing, Ray!”, and she totally thought that the puddle on the floor was me, and that I had the powers she had on the show, probably.