Until Next Time…

December 8, 2019

Verbatim

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Overheard in Cuyler

Woke white man: Elizabeth Warren sucks, but I’ll happily vote for her once Bernie Sanders dies.

Enthusiastic HUM Freshman

Leaving lecture hall: "this lecture low key changed my life."

Overheard in a COS class

COS professor while playing Gregorian chants before class: Well, I like it. My wife HATES Gregorian chants.

Overheard in Murray Dodge

I have not heard of the Nassau Weekly. What are verbatims?

Overheard in Forbes

Theater kid: So I went up to my room and put some peppermint essential oil on my nips…

Overheard in Joline Hall kitchen

Classics Major: Ever since Oedipus, I haven't looked at my mom the same.
Friend reevaluating this friendship: I feel like you should continue this conversation…without me.

Overheard in French seminar

Woman professor to woman student: Though I'm usually on your side, we must at least sometimes recognize that men are also human beings.

Overheard in a meeting

Jaded senior, discussing baby yoda: Like, you’re so cute, but you’re a product of a megacorporation.

Overheard at Cap

Gay man voting for Pete Buttigieg: I thought I got into Princeton because my mom was a legacy and I applied as a Classics Major, but I just learned about pretty privilege and it might be because of the symmetry of my face.

Overheard in J Street

Exasperated frosh: You know how to code but not how to split screen your windows?

Overheard in Wilcox

Sentimental friend: Did I mention how much I missed you?
Indifferent friend: Really? Oh, good job.

Overheard by a fireplace on Thanksgiving

Former Ivy social chair: THIS is what I miss the most about college.

Overheard in small class

Inquisitive professor: Why are you laughing? You can tell me, you know I'm confidential. Though the university requires me to say that I'm not confidential. *pause* Come see me after class.

Overheard at Thanksgiving in the South

19-year-old girl: I can’t wait to show off my gene pool.

Overheard in a Wucox booth

Underclassman: Adoption is more sustainable. It's like thrifting but for kids.

Overheard in J Street

Multilingual frosh: What's "good-bye" in Spanish? Toodles?