Woke white man: Elizabeth Warren sucks, but I’ll happily vote for her once Bernie Sanders dies.
Leaving lecture hall: "this lecture low key changed my life."
COS professor while playing Gregorian chants before class: Well, I like it. My wife HATES Gregorian chants.
I have not heard of the Nassau Weekly. What are verbatims?
Theater kid: So I went up to my room and put some peppermint essential oil on my nips…
Classics Major: Ever since Oedipus, I haven't looked at my mom the same.
Friend reevaluating this friendship: I feel like you should continue this conversation…without me.
Woman professor to woman student: Though I'm usually on your side, we must at least sometimes recognize that men are also human beings.
Jaded senior, discussing baby yoda: Like, you’re so cute, but you’re a product of a megacorporation.
Gay man voting for Pete Buttigieg: I thought I got into Princeton because my mom was a legacy and I applied as a Classics Major, but I just learned about pretty privilege and it might be because of the symmetry of my face.
Exasperated frosh: You know how to code but not how to split screen your windows?
Sentimental friend: Did I mention how much I missed you?
Indifferent friend: Really? Oh, good job.
Former Ivy social chair: THIS is what I miss the most about college.
Inquisitive professor: Why are you laughing? You can tell me, you know I'm confidential. Though the university requires me to say that I'm not confidential. *pause* Come see me after class.
19-year-old girl: I can’t wait to show off my gene pool.
Underclassman: Adoption is more sustainable. It's like thrifting but for kids.
Multilingual frosh: What's "good-bye" in Spanish? Toodles?