Unleavened Nass

April 21, 2011

Suckapella

A cappella groups must have come into existence when God banished Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden. In a perfect world, a cappella groups would not exist. I am certain that by expressing myself in this way I … Read More

by John Tamplin on April 20, 2011March 17, 2013

Fire and Glass

“The hellest job,” Mike Souza says, was making 20 super-thin cigar-shaped nuclear target cells in his glassblowing shop in the basement of Princeton’s Hoyt Laboratory.

by Maia ten Brink on April 20, 2011March 17, 2013

Prince Watch

Welcome ladies and gentlemen. I know what you guys have been thinking –- since it’s been so long since we’ve had a Prince Watch, that must be because the Daily Princetonian has finally achieved a journalistic integrity which puts it beyond our childish jabs.

by Alfred Prufrock on April 20, 2011March 17, 2013

Poetry, or How to Pray Without a God

April is national poetry month, but a lot of people don’t know or care about it. Completely understandable. Many teachers introduce us to poetry as if it were a fine science.

by Dixon Li on April 20, 2011March 17, 2013

Forgot about Ray

Editor’s note: The following is a brief selection of a running diary of Game 2 of the Knicks-Celtics playoff series, played on April 19, 2011 at TD Banknorth Garden in Boston.

by Zack Newick on April 20, 2011March 22, 2013

Just a Tiny God

Last Sunday, I spoke with one of my dear friends about God. We were walking down some path strewn with magnolia petals, as the sun finally shone through the trees, talking about the trees, the breeze, the news.

by Joel Newberger on April 20, 2011March 22, 2013

Verbatim

Overheard by Prospect Garden:

Father, to small child: Son, the key is to study hard. If you don’t do that you’ll end up at Rutgers, and Mommy and Daddy won’t be proud of you.

Overheard in ECO lecture:

Kappa freshman, to Kappa queen bee: Have you been using that new African mango acai supplement? I’m jeal of your rib bones.

Overheard in Cafe Viv:

Asian girl 1, sheepishly: So yeah, I’m in Woody Woo.
Asian girl 2: Oh, okay.
Asian girl 1, defensively: Yeah, everyone is in the department is really intense. [Pauses] I only applied because my roommate applied and she wanted emotional support.

Overheard in Witherspoon Cafe:

Beta bro: [Girl’s name] just stares at me and ignores me whenever I see her at Cottage ... like I jizzed on her eye sockets or some shit.

Overheard at Ivy:

Sophomore Phi Kap: Dude, I’m a Cap member now. I’m above going to Cap, I only go to TI and Ivy.

Overheard in Whitman:

Tower kid: Is that school even legitimate? $300 million endowment? What a joke.

Overheard outside art museum:

Prefrosh 1, bewildered: Wait, how did you get waitlisted at WashU?
Prefrosh 2: I know, right?
Prefrosh 3: Well, I got rejected at Cornell, Penn, and Dartmouth!

Overheard near drunk people:

Drunk girl: So what are you? Are you, like, a player?
Guy: No, I’m not a player. I get that some guys are players and you’re afraid of getting hurt. But that's not me.

Overheard at Wong-Fu Productions meet and greet:

Boy: I wish I was a girl so I could kiss them.

Overheard in Frist:

[Cottage girl is playing the Amalie theme on the Frist piano]
TI girl: What was that, it was so pretty!
Cottage girl: Oh, that’s the theme from Amalie.
TI girl: Oh, I love Mexican music!