Two-Hump Gumption

October 13, 2012


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Overheard in Frist

Unkind undergraduate: Her stomach is so immense that it doubles over into testicles.

Overheard at Cottage Snapback and Tattoos

SAE Sophomore, about temporary tattoo: I’m gonna get disinherited because of this shit.

Overheard in the Sewer

Ivy Senior, gesturing at TI girl: Is she an officer?
TI Senior: No, just a slut.

Overheard in 1937 Stairwell

Analytical Drone: You’re eating trash pizza! You’re in a bad place!

Overheard in Lewis

Guy, after he’s caught leering at Girl’s breasts: Uh, is that a Stan- ford sweatshirt?
Girl: (Wearing high school sweat- shirt.)

Overheard in Senior’s Inbox

Career Services: INVITATION FROM YOUR CAREER COUNSELOR: On behalf of the Office of Career Services, I would like to welcome you to your first year at Princeton!

Overheard on iPhone

Logistician: I’m an architecture student, of course an iPhone 5 is a ‘necessary school item’, Dad. Unfreeze my shit!

Overheard in Library bathroom

god is dead--nietze [sic]

Overheard on Twitter

Egyptologist: The Arabic word for ‘text’ is ‘Nass’.

Overheard at Nass Meeting

Nass Editor, questioning premise of ‘Canadian Thanksgving’: Ok, but Thanksgiving is, like, the celebration of Columbus’ discovery of America, right?