Unkind undergraduate: Her stomach is so immense that it doubles over into testicles.
SAE Sophomore, about temporary tattoo: I’m gonna get disinherited because of this shit.
Ivy Senior, gesturing at TI girl: Is she an officer?
TI Senior: No, just a slut.
Analytical Drone: You’re eating trash pizza! You’re in a bad place!
Guy, after he’s caught leering at Girl’s breasts: Uh, is that a Stan- ford sweatshirt?
Girl: (Wearing high school sweat- shirt.)
Career Services: INVITATION FROM YOUR CAREER COUNSELOR: On behalf of the Office of Career Services, I would like to welcome you to your first year at Princeton!
Logistician: I’m an architecture student, of course an iPhone 5 is a ‘necessary school item’, Dad. Unfreeze my shit!
god is dead--nietze [sic]
NIETZE [sic] IS DEAD--GOD
Egyptologist: The Arabic word for ‘text’ is ‘Nass’.
Nass Editor, questioning premise of ‘Canadian Thanksgving’: Ok, but Thanksgiving is, like, the celebration of Columbus’ discovery of America, right?