This week the Nass lives vicariously, vents to mom, and learns what professors really think of students.
Girl on the verge of tears: As long as the bridge you die on is pretty, it’s fine, right?
Junior thinking about JP: Life keeps happening. And I'm kinda not thrilled.
Burned Out Friend: *Goes on a depressing rant*
Over-committed Verbatim fan: That's so sad, and I can't even verbatim it.
Romantic: The sole remaining balloon from Valentine's Day.
Optimist: And she's still flying, I'm so proud of her.
Romantic: Yea, I murdered all her sisters. I took scissors to them.
Supportive friend: I'm glad to brighten up your day with gossip. And not just any gossip… invented gossip!
Friend who breaks under moral pressure too easily: This is a mark on my conscience that will never leave. These lies have stained my soul.
Prank co-conspirator: … It was just an April Fools joke.
Innocent friend: *gravely* I am the face of evil! *trips over own shoe*
Techie: Oh no, my tablet didn't charge!
Friend: Do you have a charger?
Techie: *genuine* You are a genius. I never would've thought.
Budding philosopher: I was thinking…about how Seinfeld and Kafka were in the same century.
WASPy Man: When I came here I thought everyone wore, like, sports polos and khakis everyday. Because that's what we wore back home.
Social justice advocate: Single people are the most oppressed minority.
Woman rolling down car window: Excuse me! How do I get to the track meet?
Terrace NARP: Sorry, you're asking the wrong people.
Other Terrace NARP, pointing at nearby students: Ask them, they're all wearing Princeton sweatshirts.
Improv comedian anthro major: If I had a manager and accountant and publicist and personal assistant, I would be so successful.