Girl #1: Random sex is so stupid.
Girl #2: Not stupid. Just unnecessary.
Girl #1: Yeah. Unnecessary is a better way of putting it. It's like, I should have just gone to the Wa instead.
Senior Girl: My pants are soaked with beer, I don't want to wear them home.
Sophomore Boy: Wear my pants!
Girl: No, that's Ok
Boy: I insist! (takes off pants)
Girl: Your pants are more soaked with beer than mine are. How does this help me?
Boy: Well, if you wear my pants home, I'll have to come get them from you tomorrow
Drunk Frat Guy: jimbo? jimbo? jimbo told me you were gay.
Zete #1: Slap his ass, jimbo, slap his ass.
Guy #1: Don't you wish you were in Terrace?
Guy #2: Yeah
Guy #1: Tomorrow is a brand new day.
Guy #2: Who said that originally?
Guy #2: I believe it was a container of bleach.
Girl on cell phone: And I was like "What were you thinking? You're in Ivy. Everyone in Ivy's gay." He didn't think that was too funny