The Nass 100

September 22, 2005

Verbatim

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Overheard at Cottage lawnparties

Drunken Cottage Member: You girls make me love sundresses.
Drunken Terrace Member: You girls make me want to go into my car and masturbate.

Overheard at Terrace lawnparties

Alumni to Terrace officer: You look great. In fact, you look like you belong at another eating club.

Overheard at late lunch

Junior Guy: You got sushi with eel in it? That's disgusting.
Sophomore Guy: Dude, that shit's delicious.
Near-by Theta: Yeah, actually, it's eel-icious.

Overheard in Prospect Garden

Guy: What happened to verbatim? It used to be like:
Overheard in Cottage:
Guy: something penis related
Girl: something relative to all penis

but now it's like
Overheard in Jacob Savage's bed:
Jacob: blah blah something political
Rob Buerki: Ha ha, you're so topical.
Jacob Savage: not like JACOB GOLD

Overheard in the Nassau Weekly Verbatim submission inbox

Anonymous email persona: You take a candy and get hard rock erection. This is not miracle. This is just Soft Tabs.