Deflated I-banker: I would rather undergro ethnic cleansing than lose my offer.
Earnest kid 1: And then...I saw that it had bacon on it!
Earnest kid 2, cringing: So what did you do?
Earnest kid 1: Couldn't do it. I just...couldn't do it.
Guy 1: Getting a pre-lab done for you is better than getting a blowjob.
Guy 2: Have you ever gotten a blowjob?
Guy 1: Yeah. I mean...yeah. Well, no.
Girl: Today, I stepped in human poop.
Senior SAE: I think Alan Blinder has Tourette's.
Junior Theta: Oh, really? Is he bickering? Because that would be hard to deal with.