The Main Event

September 30, 2018

Verbatim

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Overheard in Frist

Gossiping table: I really forgot how crazy her face was.

Overheard in Ivy

Drunk Tigertone: Have anyone ever thought about how beautiful and complex American grammar is?

Overheard in Friend

COS grad student: Just keep drinking coffee and writing code. You'll get through it.

Overheard at TI

TI junior: I Juuled last week and literally had to go to confession.

Overheard in Ivy

Ivy SWUG, emphatically: Fuck the millipedes, they never gave us anything.

Overhead in East Pyne

Junior German major: German is one of those languages I wish I knew.

Overhead at Murray Dodge

German major: This university gave me a lot of money for going independent…it's all going to booze and cigarettes. *leaves to smoke*

Overheard at RoMa

Freshman 1: Having sex is such a struggle.
Freshman 2: Yeah, and you can't even practice jacking off because of your roommates.

Overheard in East Pyne

Film German major to Medieval German major: I can give you better depressed films than that.

Overheard at Terrace

Senior: Pot is s totally a study drug! I'm still here, aren't I?

Overheard at Cargot

Theta senior: If you get an average little I'm dropping.

Overheard on iMessage

Gentile frosh: Fuck Charter Friday.
Gentile frosh: Shabbat is where it’s at.

Overheard in Ivy

Fashionable Ivy senior: Carhartt is what the working people wear, the commoners.

Overheard at Starbucks

Junior woman wearing a United Nations hat: As a woman, I could never be with a man that was dumb.

Overheard on Nassau

Cannon junior: I don’t think I bickered him. I just bickered a lot of guys named Phil.

Overheard in Terrace

Northeastern Jewish man: Is that yogurt and granola?
Other man: Yeah
NJM: Um... fire.

Overheard at East Pyne courtyard

Girl on phone: Why can't we get someone famous, like Tina Fey? … Cory Booker did not matter.

Overheard in an intimate setting

Man: I just saw Batman's circumcised penis in a comic. Is that canon now?