Beefy frat guy: Man, you pissing yourself in that chair and that guy in your lap puking, that was the highlight of my day.
Girl 1: I don’t think he would be a good father.
Girl 2: Nor would he be a good husband. And when you wanted to have babies and you couldn’t conceive because he had done so many drugs in his youth and his sperm count was so low, I think it would put a real strain on the relationship.
EIC: But that’s the real trouble with doing a fecal-gram indoors.
Girl 1: The “Pursuit of Happyness” would probably make me feel happy but only after it had made me sad for a long time. But then at the end I’d feel happy
Girl 2: You mean after he becomes an i-banker?
Professor Litchman: I am a giant vagina!
Deposed EIC: Here’s an example of how worthless the boy scouts are not only does my brother actually have a cow badge (literally, a badge you get for learning about cows) but I just challenged him to a cow trivia contest, and it was a tie.