Dude on phone: The green linen pants, the baby blue blazer, the white collared shirt and the navy blue tie...I think that's it. I definitely need it by Friday
Girl 1: Then, I fell down in the tap room and broke my left wrist.
Girl 2: Well it's good that you broke the left, and not the right, because at least you can still give blow jobs.
Drunk guy: I think you're one of the most beautiful girls on campus. (thoughtful pause) Does that offend you?
Girl (motioning down campus): Let's go down
Girl: Fuck off!
Guy 1: What do you think about Butt Rape For Kids?
Guy 2: I don't know. Maybe the government should start a program called No Child Left Behind.
Freshman guy on cell phone: Hi Mom, I have a meeting with my adviser in 20 minutes and I have to decide on classes -- What should I take?