Student: Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Son of VP of Bed, Bath and Beyond: Yeah, one sister.
Student: Oooh, a sister, eh?
Son of VP: Yeah, but don't get too excited -- she's 14and you're not seeing any of her while we're home tonight.
Student: Ah, too bad. I would have loved to bed, bath and beyond her.
Guitarist: Have you seen our black friend? We think he's dead.
Guy on cell phone: Yeah, apparently she's a carrier, so I can still get it.
Horrible douche: My mistress hasn't been born yet.
Son about father: Bob is here and he wants to fuck.
Professor: I taught school in Southern California once. The students there knew that you never fought your supplier.
Girl on cell phone: First the Holocaust, now this!