The Archives Issue

April 15, 2004

Verbatim

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Overheard in Murray-Dodge

Dude 1: Do you watch “The OC”?
Dude 2: Dude, I’m from Orange County. I don’t need to watch the show- I live that shit.
Dude 1: So it’s really like that over there?
Dude 2: Yeah, except there’s more trannies.

Overheard the day after a long night of drinking

I remember everything except the dildo.

Overheard outside Spelman

Boy: I have to decide, you know, whether or not I want to socially exclude someone.
Girl: Yeah I know, totally.

Overheard in TI

Non-Jewish Girl: Are you allowed to have sex with me during Passover?
Strapping Jewish Guy: As long as you aren’t covered in bread.
[Man. Editor’s note:  According to Halacha, this is not quite correct.
Consider the requirement for all Jewish males at the seder meal to be circumcised.  The blood of circumcision is like the lamb’s blood over the door, it symbolizes and defines the bonds uniting Jews together.  During the seder we remember our slavery as people amongst
co-religionists.  So it seems that being bread-free and Jewish would meet the requirements for this young co-ed to have sex with the strapping
Hebrewe.]