Spring Stricken

March 11, 2018

Verbatim

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Overheard in Roma

Retrospective female: I used to use Tinder as a way of exploring the restaurants around here.

Overheard in Terrace

Nass EIC: The New Testament is just fan fiction of the Old Testament.

Overheard in Cafe Viv

Frosh on a health kick: I don't do tropical fruit in my acai bowl. I'm more of a berry boy.

Overheard on Nassau Street

Nass EIC: The first time I tripped, I fully realized that I'm a pathological misanthrope.

Overheard in Frist

Jewish girl: You'll be happy to know my bat mitzvah was at a bowling alley – an upscale bowling alley.

Overheard in Terrace

Terran: I guess the most stressful thing I’ve done is smoked before a jazz band concert in my senior year of high school.

Overheard in Terrace

Terrace officer: I just have flesh-eating bacteria on my mind a lot.

Overheard on Luce listserv

Devout Catholic advertising for interfaith dinner: There will be food and ample opportunities for friends, fun, and evangelization.

Overheard in Roma

SWUG (Sophomore Washed Up Gay): I was such a good boyfriend that they literally needed a trans-continental rebound.

Overheard in Cuyler

Terrace alum: I love self deprivation. That’s why I always do Lent.

Overheard at Ivy

Jewish Ivy junior, sincerely: Quad don’t give no fucks.

Overheard in BT office

Sophomore Ivy Pi Phi: I've never faced rejection – I definitely can't start now.

Overheard in Wilson dining hall

Random Frosh: I feel like he's one of those people who thinks he's really talented because he's really rich.

Overheard on the Street

Drunk engineer 1: I gave up alcohol for Lent.
Drunk engineer 2: It would have been easier if you had given up sex.

Overheard in Firestone

Frosh concernedly looking at foot: I just looked at my foot and got so worried that I had four toes.

Overheard en route to Frist

Ivy soph: I just don’t get social climbing vibes from him... maybe the fact that he’s using me to climb is clouding my judgment.

Overheard in Frist

Lapsed Episcopalian Upper East Sider, eating her acai bowl: I spent last Easter at Sunday Funday.