Dude, if Chris Lloyd is going to go no.2 in here, he can at least not leave his Details in the stall...
Nass staffer: I may or may not have taken a relatively unsmelly shit and hidden it under a pile of checks.
Freshman girl #1: I've been trying to eat healthy lately...it's really expensive and it goes bad really quickly.
Guy: No preservatives. Twinkies, like a fine wine, get better over the years.
Freshman girl #2: What happens to tofu when it goes bad?
Guy: It turns into meat.
Guy #1: She's really drunk. Maybe you shouldn't take advantage of her.
Guy #2: Don't worry. I'll just like finger her or something.
Guy with newly acquired girlfriend: I feel more productive, you know. More relaxed, getting more work done.
Guy's friend: So getting down to business is good for business?
Guy: Stocks are UP when her pants are DOWN.