RIP: The Cemetery Issue

October 13, 2005

Verbatim

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Overheard in Patton girls restroom

Dude, if Chris Lloyd is going to go no.2 in here, he can at least not leave his Details in the stall...

Overheard during Nassau Weekly relatively harmless raid on Prince Business Office

Nass staffer: I may or may not have taken a relatively unsmelly shit and hidden it under a pile of checks.

Overheard at late dinner

Freshman girl #1: I've been trying to eat healthy lately...it's really expensive and it goes bad really quickly.
Guy: No preservatives. Twinkies, like a fine wine, get better over the years.
Freshman girl #2: What happens to tofu when it goes bad?
Guy: It turns into meat.

Overheard outside Cottage

Guy #1: She's really drunk. Maybe you shouldn't take advantage of her.
Guy #2: Don't worry. I'll just like finger her or something.

Overheard in Corwin men’s room

Guy with newly acquired girlfriend: I feel more productive, you know. More relaxed, getting more work done.
Guy's friend: So getting down to business is good for business?
Guy: Stocks are UP when her pants are DOWN.