October 4, 2015

City Status

It’s a bright morning, the end of my first week at work. I am still getting used to living on my own in New York. Along the sidewalk outside my station entrance there is always a line of construction workers. … Read More


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Overheard near Henry

Radical feminist: The best health is vaginal health.

Overheard in Pyne

Senior girl: How do you spell ratchet?

Overheard in Qdoba

Future diplomat, on Tinder profile: Dude, if people see that picture I’m fucked.

Overheard by McCosh

Junior English major with man bun: I’m just looking for intellectual fulfillment.

Overheard in Witherspoon

Sophomore rushee: I don’t have to shower, I’m just going to Kappa.

Overheard in East Pyne

Senior girl offhandedly, on MacArthur genius grants: Oh yeah, my aunt got one of those, too.

Overheard on NJ Transit

Soldier, to group of other soldiers: Please don’t tell me you didn’t do this for the money.

Overheard in Little

Future CEO: I exceeded the number of searches on Tiger Tracks and it blocked me.

Overheard at TI

Senior SAE to Siri: What is the age of consent in New Jersey?

Overheard in Terrace

British junior: I prefer nationalism in a man.

Overheard in the UStore

Leftist junior, buying moleskines: My reward for nice handwriting is nice paper to write on.

Overheard via email

Marquand librarian: Regardless of where your carrel is located, Marquand carrels are arguably the nicest on campus.

Overheard in McCosh Courtyard

Grad student, on a Skype call: Shmeckel...shmeckel. Shmeckel. Shmeckel.

Overheard outside Cannon

Pi Phi pledge, in tree: I’m fine.
Theta senior: You’re in a tree. You’re not fine.

Overheard in the CJL

Belligerent PhD candidate, to woman with crutches: What happened?! You were totally normal when you were sitting down!

Overheard in Wilcox

Freshman, playing ping pong: Dude, the last time I played this game was ‘Nam in, uh...’89.”

Overheard in Firestone

Chi Phi senior, after guzzling Star- bucks pumpkin spice latte: If cum tasted like that, girls would be blowing dudes left and right.