White boy to Indian girl: You look so n ice in that dress that if you were white, you'd be pretty enough to get into Cottage.
Guy: I hear you were naked in a communist magazine.
Girl: Hey! It wasn't communist!
Guy 1: Dude, I have to get up early tomorrow to go to Russian class at 9am.
Guy 2: Dude, I have to get up at noon and smoke a joint before brunch!
Guy 3: Tomorrow's Monday.
Guy 2: Well, fine. I have to get up at noon and smoke a joint before lunch, then.
Girl: I can't believe you used our lube to masturbate. Guy: That shit is amazing. With six drops of that stuff I think I could fuck a walnut.
Guy 1: So I ran into an ex-girlfriend of mine from high school.
Guy 2: We should take her to Paris [implying an Eiffel Tower].
Guy 1: Paris? I wish...I never even got to visit the Grand Tetons...or in her case, the Petit Tetons.