Aggrieved musician: His excuse that this is for charity is such neoliberal bullshit.
Junior woman, to large man: Come sit with us! We need a male gaze. We miss it when it’s not there.
Art history major: I’m worried my thesis is coming off as anti-Swedish.
Ivy junior: I’m too chic for McKinsey...my sandals were custom-made in Saint Tropez.
Chi Phi senior: I’m just not sure I’m so interested in what academics have to say.
Radical feminist: It’s easier to have sex for money than it is to have sex for free.
Man: That’s why I’m a capitalist.
Valley Girl, on thesis: Honestly the msot stressful part was figuring out what I was going to wear for these pictures.
Frustrated gay: The problem with Princeton is that it’s the only place where pastel-colored clothes tell you nothing about a man’s sexuality.
Earnest frosh: My roommate had an orgy on the sailing trip. Well, he didn’t really have an orgy—he just subbed in for someone else.
Professor, discussing Simone de Beauvoir’s theory of pregnancy: Now, what does this sound like? There is something that is me, but is other than me, that is possessed by me, but also possesses me...
Male student: A penis?
Professor: I was thinking more along the lines of Hegelian self-consciousness.
Female student, on going to the Upper East Side: At that point I was like, wait, I’ve seen more perfectly groomed dogs here than people of color.
Profoundly enlightened SWUG taking Hustles and Hustlers: I feel like I understand the world now.
Sake virgin, taking sake as a shot: Am I an alcoholic or does this taste like flavored water?
Ivy Soph: Oh I think I got an internship at McKinsey. I forgot about that.