Member of a secret society: She was gaslighting me TWICE. Like, I was gaslit-squared.
Tall sophomore girl: Yeah, I lean more libertarian than dictator.
Noob: I thought tarping was putting tarps on the floor.
Scarred senior: remember, you can mop the floor, but you can't mop the walls.
CBE junior: Philosophy is going to be my hardest class. Philosophy is just thinking, and I don't do that.
Suspect Junior: I’ve always wanted to do a big burning.
Vengeful Junior: I have decided to spend my tax return on Ubers from now on.
Anti-foodie: She said she can make foe.
Foodie: Do you mean pho?
Anti-foodie: I don't give a pho.
Hard Drinker on cocktails: Why would you do that? It's like diluting your vaccines to take more of them.
Pre-Med Student: No one does that.
Connoisseur: It's unfiltered rice wine from Brooklyn. That's why it's milky.
Vindictive junior: Is it bullying or is it justice?
One First RCA to another: I know this is a hot take, but you have to have kids. Life is not about having fun.
Princeton Official: Not all heroes wear capes. Some eat chips. I could be a hero.
English major who just finished reading Kafka on the Shore: *giving a hand job* This is just like in Kafka on the Shore.
Student: *complains about a Princeton policy*
Father: You should transfer to Yale.
Student: What? Why?
Mother: We just really want the Yale sticker so we can have HYP on the car.