April 26, 2014


More →

Overheard in Chancellor Green

Pi Phi officer, on rush: If they’re on the fence, let them do Theta.

Overheard in U-Store Checkout Line

Girl: Are you going to TruckFest?
Cottage bro, clutching Chobani yogurt: I don’t even know what that is.
Girl: It’s for charity.
Bro: I don’t believe in charity.

Overheard in Austin

UT sorority girl: Ever since she faked her own drug addiction and checked herself into rehab, I just can’t be friends with her.

Overheard in Pyne

Blonde junior: I just feel like my brain is so strong that I can’t get drunk anymore.

Overheard in Campus Club

Junior, to other junior: Sometimes I feel like, investing’s not even hard!

Overheard in Bloomberg

Leftist frosh: Some socialist Jews were counting on me to go to upstate New York and start a pedagogical revolution.

Overheard in Forbes

Theta sophomore: Did I tell you guys? [Redacted] called Psafe on an orgy this weekend.

Overheard at Terrace

Wisconsin junior: I like that shirt. Where’d you get it?
Ohio senior: JCPenney close-out rack.
Westchester junior: What’s a close-out rack?

Overheard outside Spelman

Male student 1, admiring window: That is the sickest room.
Male student 2: That is rad. I bet they just play cards and drink a sick amount of wine.

Overheard at Ivy

NYC freshman: Why don’t they have champagne here?
SAE sophomore: Why don’t they have bottles here?
NYC freshman: Why don’t they have Dom here?
(nod, continue to smoke Marlboro Golds)

Overheard in precept

Tower member: So we were all in the Tower coat room reading presidential slash fiction...

Overheard in class

Theta sophomore: I can’t believe it costs $120 to go to one night of Tower formals.
Ivy sophomore boy: Well, I paid $1100 for two meals and a Tiffany necklace.

Overheard outside Laughlin

6-year-old girl, being forced to pose for a photo with someone else’s bike: Seriously, mom?

Overheard in MOL 214

Professor: Cancer’s a good thing to try and avoid, or treat if you have it.

Overheard in Frist

Girl: Do you like drinking, or do you like learning?

Overheard in the Ramayana

Sanskrit poet: and then he saw their women. They were worthy of the finest things. Pure in mind and noble in spirit, their thoughts were constant focused on their beloveds and their intoxicating beverages.