Professor Anthony Grafton: Devils were considered astral bodies with vocal cords who would become women, receive male semen, corrupt it diabolically, become men, and then inseminate women.
Wasted Zete Sophomore: It's like who are you gonna kiss and who are you gonna love?
Perceptive senior, reading party invitation: Is it logically possible for a party to be both “the largest” and “most exclusive”?
Junior pi phi, wistfully: I wanna eat today...
Student: But professor, according to your theor--
P. Adams Sitney: It’s not a theory! It’s random bullshit said with intensity!
Asian girl, matter-of-factly: I am actually a lot prettier when I am skinny.
Drunk man, singing to the tune of Katy Perry: In another life I would be a Jew
Band member: Let’s party with geniuses! You guys are sexy geniuses.
Student 1: Do you like Frank Gehry? The architect?
Student 2: Yeah, he’s great.
Student 3: Yeah, the architecture of Lewis Library reminds me of him.
Professor, ostensibly trying to make a joke: The Third Princess is standing on the veranda as no proper woman should, because she is concerned about a cat out there. Kashiwagi sees that little pussy and is very interested. [pause followed by silence]
Sophomore girl: this is going to sound really stupid, but how do you spell “Terrace”?