Metamorphosis

November 7, 2021

Metamorphosis – Full Design

This week, the Nass examines liberal orthodoxy, considers adolescence, and calls home.

Verbatim

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Overheard during Princetoween

Freshman playing never-have-I-ever: Never have I ever called someone bestie during sex.

Overheard at Brunch

Junior looking at a plate of meat: A vegan would actually kill me right now–but they can't 'cause they're vegan!

Overheard during a Study Break

Religion Studies Student: This might sound bad, but is it wrong to highlight the Bible?

Chaotic Atheist: Depends on the color. It needs to be red like His blood.

Overheard in Slack

Nass Managing Editor: I'm happy to read, I just can't write.

Overheard in film class

Thoughtful student: What makes teen horror movies so good is that one weird cum scene.

Overheard on Zoom

Brazilian: Why does the US support some authoritarian countries but invade others?

Overheard at Wucox breakfast

Concerned virgin, surveying pineapple: If the pussy ph is low enough, will it melt my dick?

Overheard in Orlando

Skeptic junior: I'm going to give up vegetarianism for Lent.

Overheard on Vacation

Tourist to a cop: Nice costume!

Overheard on Philly Uber

Tired junior: You could be Hamlet.

Melodramatic friend: O, how art thou, Juliet?

Overheard at Downtown Disney

Conflicted customer: Fuck you, Walt Disn—oh my god look at those backpacks!

Overheard at Roma

Junior who’s onto something: Waluigi is nonbinary.

Overheard outside Wawa

Kleptomaniacal Sophomore: Highly recommend stealing, it’s super free.

Overheard at a Manhattan hotel

Sly twenty-something: Twelve ladies in the same room. This should get interesting.

Overheard after HUM Lecture

Comp Lit Major: If you don't like Ovid, I don't like you.

Overheard on a Roller Coaster

Tragic Thrill Seeker: I can't go on most of the rides. I have chronic vertigo.

Overtired friend: You have so much fucked up about you. You're like an onion of fuckery.