Dismayed Frosh: I'm not upset my phone is wet. I'm upset that the water spilled was Voss
Junior drinking from a S'well: I'm Puerto Rican, but not passionately Puerto Rican.
If your independent work/thesis project involves the use of drones, can you please contact me.
Future Anna Wintour Assistant, raging at woven slippers: Every Chinese lady in America has those!
Artsy sad boy: I didn't realize how sexy your turtleneck was.
Bored sophomore: Nobody takes me seriously in my quest to get a Juul.
Girl to friend: *loud whisper* I had the WEIRDEST dream that one of my friends… was a Lesbian!
Terran: "It makes sense that white people like avocado. It has no flavor."
Jewish senior: Never have I ever bought Plan B in shekels.
Nass Managing Editor: Is it obnoxious to post this picture of Bombay Sapphire on my snap story?
Brooklynite: No, why would it be obnoxious?
Nasthead member: Cottage is way more mysterious than St. A's.
Gossip-loving soph: So I heard Peter Singer is a nudist. He also has a secret cheese drawer, because he's vegan.
Jewish-American Princess, in opening line: Are women crazy?
SWUG: I can't find out I'm pregnant the night before my Bridges midterm.
Athlete girl, to friend in a pink drug rug: I like your weed jacket!
Frosh: Rhode Island isn't an island?!
Junior Theta: My personal goal for this semester is to get in with the alt crew
Ivy ‘16 Grad: I’m not telling you to bicker McKinsey, but think about it.