Let Us Go

February 8, 2001

Verbatim

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Overheard at Charter

If I had a little sister, I’d be in jail already.

Overheard on Elm Street

I wouldn't mind if my house got broken into, but I would mind if I didn't get to fuck the Pope this summer.

Overheard in Prospect Gardens

It’s not about being disabled. It’s about Minnesota.

Heard in Prof. Foster’s ART 214

Nothing is more degrading than a clown shitting in a stall.

Overheard in 1927

She would kill me if she found out that I spread my stuff all over her bed.

Overheard in Chancellor Green

Josh Boak? No, he’s not Jewish, he’s just funny-looking.

Overheard in Lockhart

Sometimes, I feel like an automatic blowjob machine.

Overheard in Lockhart

Guy 1: You should just be her big talking dildo.
Guy 2: That’s all I ever wanted to be...except for the talking part.

Overheard from Prof. Lamb in ENG320

Pedophilia is different from slavery.