KERFUFFLE

October 8, 2017

Verbatim

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Overheard on Poe Field

Nass publisher: I like to think of the Nass as a less sexy Playboy.

Overheard in 1901

Ivy junior, recounting Harry Styles concert: The girl next to me was obviously a YouTuber. She was wearing a beret!

Overheard in 1902

Junior woman: You went to an A$AP Mob concert?
Sophomore A's aspirant: I went to their album release party and groped A$AP Rocky while he was performing.

Overheard at Terrace

Feminist: I think each one of her boobs are eighteen of my boobs.

Overheard at Terrace

Brooklynite: If I knew how to drive, I'd know how to drive stick shift.

Overheard at Ivy

Ivy senior/Zete ringleader: Yeah, so let's do those same Zete hoodies from last year but with Trump on the front.

Overheard in RoMa

Nass editor, on former roommate: We crossed paths so little last year that I didn't even find out he had an exorcism until like three days ago.

Overheard at a pregame

Jewish senior man, commenting on his physical fitness: None of this screams "knows what to do in a gym." "Knows what to do in a deli?" Absolutely.

Overheard in Wright

Upper West Sider: My favorite adjective is “collegiate gothic.”

Overheard in Whitman

Nass frosh: My brother’s really into Kant, but like, if you wanted to be cool in high school you had to read the more continental stuff.

Overheard at Terrace

Ivy gear chair, on rave attire: Yeah this is what I wear, lambskin jackets.

Overheard on Neo Yokio

Jaden Smith: As you know, I've been very depressed and it's affecting my attitude towards field hockey.

Overheard at Sunday brunch

Female Ivy junior, after a conversation about Saturday night sexcapades: We are just like Sex and the City…actually, it's more like Abstinence and the Suburbs.

Overheard at the Fields Center

Friend from Hong Kong: How was Yom Kippur?
Cultural Jew: Fantastic.
Friend: What a time to be alive! And Jewish!

Overheard at postgame:

Astonished Ivy member: The TI women's bathroom is a freaking help desk. No, more than that. I walk into a bunch of girls who are too drunk, and there's a whole chain of command in place to help them.

Overheard in TI

Senior Woman: I'm strictly attracted to Jewish boys. Don't verbatim me. I'm LOOSELY attracted to Jewish boys.

Overheard in Pyne

Supportive girlfriend, about New York Review of Books intern: He's not good at rapping, but he can rhyme very well.