Nass publisher: I like to think of the Nass as a less sexy Playboy.
Ivy junior, recounting Harry Styles concert: The girl next to me was obviously a YouTuber. She was wearing a beret!
Feminist: I think each one of her boobs are eighteen of my boobs.
Brooklynite: If I knew how to drive, I'd know how to drive stick shift.
Ivy senior/Zete ringleader: Yeah, so let's do those same Zete hoodies from last year but with Trump on the front.
Nass editor, on former roommate: We crossed paths so little last year that I didn't even find out he had an exorcism until like three days ago.
Jewish senior man, commenting on his physical fitness: None of this screams "knows what to do in a gym." "Knows what to do in a deli?" Absolutely.
Upper West Sider: My favorite adjective is “collegiate gothic.”
Nass frosh: My brother’s really into Kant, but like, if you wanted to be cool in high school you had to read the more continental stuff.
Ivy gear chair, on rave attire: Yeah this is what I wear, lambskin jackets.
Jaden Smith: As you know, I've been very depressed and it's affecting my attitude towards field hockey.
Female Ivy junior, after a conversation about Saturday night sexcapades: We are just like Sex and the City…actually, it's more like Abstinence and the Suburbs.
Friend from Hong Kong: How was Yom Kippur?
Cultural Jew: Fantastic.
Friend: What a time to be alive! And Jewish!
Astonished Ivy member: The TI women's bathroom is a freaking help desk. No, more than that. I walk into a bunch of girls who are too drunk, and there's a whole chain of command in place to help them.
Senior Woman: I'm strictly attracted to Jewish boys. Don't verbatim me. I'm LOOSELY attracted to Jewish boys.
Supportive girlfriend, about New York Review of Books intern: He's not good at rapping, but he can rhyme very well.