Girl 1: I don't really know why I'm on the pill anymore.
Girl 2: Well, at least if you get raped you won't have a child.
Group: (hysterical laughter for 30 seconds)
Girl: Wasn't that a great pun?
Waitress: What cheese would you like on your burger?
Girl: I'll have cheddar and onions.
Waitress: Onions aren't a cheese.
Girl: I know.
Guy 1: What's a do-rag?
Guy 2: A traditional urban headdress.
Football Player: (Overhears "Sweet Child of Mine") This song is awesome. I'm so good at this in Guitar Hero.
Girl: I bet it's 7:12. *checks watch* Ohmigod, I must be psychic!
Guy: You don't have to be psychic to perceive the passage of time.